Stephen Fry called him, “The rich man’s Simon Pegg” and he’s undoubtedly the owner of the best facial appendage in showbusiness. Rufus Hound is a funny man and he’s not on television nearly enough, but Dave (you know, the channel Dave not a random bloke called Dave) is putting that right. Rufus is appearing alongside Marcus Brigstocke as a team captain in new panel show, Argumental (tonight, Monday 27 October, 9.40pm). John Sergeant hosts and lots of top-name comedians are onboard. Looks like fun and games and laughter. I caught up with Rufus during his big press junket, still suffering from a massive cold. He was very cool and funny, though, and I enjoyed speaking with him. You can read he said to me after the jump.

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TV Scoop: Hi Rufus, how are you?
Rufus Hound: I’m fine thank you sir. I hear you have a bad cold.

TVS: Yes, that is correct. What’s that line in Blackadder? I feel as though there’s a Frenchman living inside my head.
RH: Hahaha! Yes. Have you been doing the whole Echinacea and honey and lemon in hot water?

TVS: Yeah, I’ve been trying all that. I even stuck my head in a bucket of boiling water with Olbas Oil in it… but anyway. You’ve been passed around from pillar to post this morning.
RH: Sort of. I think people make this whole thing more media and exotic than it actually is.

TVS: Yeah, I can imagine. It must actually be quite dull. A lot like these questions I am about to ask you…
RH: Well then, let’s lay it down sir.

TVS: For those who don’t know about Argumental, would you mind filling us in?
RH: No. John Sergeant takes the big issues of the day and decrees which side of the argument the red and the blue teams must fall on. Marcus Brigstocke is the red team captain, and I’m the captain of the blue team. Each week we are joined by a fellow comedian, and their job is to support whatever Mr Sergeant has decreed our team has to argue for and against. That could be anything from the credit crunch is a good thing, to Jeremy Kyle is making Britain a better place, and to Peter Andre is the luckiest man in the world. Having engaged in the debate, the studio audience then weigh up what was said and vote which team made the best points.

TVS: Like Ready Steady Cook but Ready Steady Argue?
RH: Hahaha! Very strong. Yes. Except the mystery bag is John Sergeant.

TVS: And what a bag he is, frankly.
RH: What a delightful bag. He’s an eco-friendly Hessian sack of a man.

TVS: I like the way you say he decrees things, rather than merely says things. Even though he is a bag, he must have a real aura about him.
RH: He is a tremendous human being, and there are not enough superlatives to describe what a wonderful gent John Sergeant is. People say that how a person is on television is the way they are in real life, but that’s never really true – you’re always aware that the camera is on you and there’s a part of you that will always slightly perform more or be a bigger version of yourself because on some levels you have to kind of make the decision that you have to be worth watching in some way. John Sergeant, on the other hand, is the real deal. He’s the thing. More than any other human being I’ve ever met he genuinely is the same man on the screen. He’s witty and engaging and warm and bright.

TVS: Aside from all that bum licking though…
RH: Hahaha! And he’s one hell of a kisser!

TVS: Do you make reference to his Strictly antics at all? Is it fertile ground for mickey taking?
RH: Well, the truth is that at the time of filming he had started training but none of us had seen him dance. He bought Kristina (Rihanoff) down to one of the records and knocked out a few moves and everyone was very impressed.

TVS: Kristina is quite a pneumatic kind of a woman…
RH: Well, she has a book published about dance-sports-make-up. There is an expert within it and she dances with John Sergeant. How much more surreal do you want this sentence to become? You know that very kind of fixed, glamorous look? She is an expert in how to create that.

TVS: What about your co-debater, Marcus Brigstocke? Apart from that Anne Robinson thing, he generally appears in very funny and clever things. Do you see this an opportunity to take him down a peg or two?
RH: I tried. What Marcus has in intellect, he lacks in basic human compassion. What he failed to realise is that all the big ideas in the world don’t really count for anything when the majority of the studio audience has decided that you are not a good man.

TVS: Yeah, but God loves a trier…
RH: But He hates Marcus.

TVS: Did he reign down Biblical terror in this series?
RH: Well, if there is a universal, loving God, a creator if you will, then at some level He decided that he should be sent to a European boarding school. At that point Marcus lost the ability to hold onto and to actually love, which makes for a very cold customer… a very cold fish. This show is all about getting the votes from people, and, yes, you can put together a salient argument for things, but if people’s choice is ultimately between a man and a reptile, nine times out of ten our mammalian bond will see us right.

TVS: There’s something right in the world when things like that happen…
RH: I’d like to think so. Speaks well of our evolution.

TVS: I’m interested in your debating style. How did you mould it? Was it down to endless nights in a pub arguing over what flavour crisps are the best? Or did you shut yourself away in a dark room with a computer to find out all the facts in the world? Do you actually have a debating style?
RH: My debating style, and I hope people will see this, evolved as a result of doing Argumental. What’s worth pointing out is that I’m not a household name comedian.

TVS: You should be, frankly.
RH: Well, bless you. Let’s really reiterate that. Bless you.

TVS: No, I do!
RH: That’s really cool! I was on the show, having to go toe-to-toe with people like Frankie Boyle and Jimmy Carr and Phill Jupitus and Dara O’Briain and what have you. Really, it was very nerve-wracking. I really didn’t know the show, and then these guys were coming in and doing one or two shows while we did 12 back-to-back. It wasn’t like I could have a week away and prepare, so it was actually quite terrifying in its own way. By the end, I had certainly improved and I think it’s a very funny series.

TVS: I did hear that Dara… listen to me, I say it as if I know him!
RH: Old ‘DOB’ you mean? Oh yeah…

TVS: He turned out to be a heck of a debater. Did I hear that right?
RH: Well. You’re not wrong sir. Somebody asked him early doors whether he was comfortable with the whole thing, and he said that he did a little bit of debating at university. What was then revealed later on was that he was twice running the All-Ireland debating champion!

TVS: Slightly underplayed that then…
RH: Slightly underplayed it! Hahaha! Kept his cards very close to his chest. Now very gratefully as far as I’m concerned he was on my team. Watching him at work is a thing of beauty. I will put my hands in the air and say I wasn’t a massive Dara O’Briain fan, because I haven’t seen that much of him. I’ve seen him on Mock The Week but when you’re a host you don’t really get a chance to unleash your comedic flow. On this and close up, the man is a genius and funny as… The Dara episode is the first one.

TVS: OK, let’s talk about you Rufus…
RH: Yes, let’s do that!

TVS: I’ve seen you host Top Of The Pops, and you’ve been on Thank God You’re Here (the funniest thing on it), some Glastonbury stuff and I’ve also been watching some of your stand-up on YouTube (very funny Westlife are c**** sketch). You’re very quick witted. And I like your moustache. Can I massage your ego any more?!
RH: No, this is lovely! I might just keep this number and ring you every time I’m feeling low.

TVS: I’ll set up an ego massage line and put on a sexy voice.
RH: Do you know this conversation is getting all the more erotic by the second?

TVS; Seriously though, you’re obviously very quick-witted, so what advice do you have for people, like me, who are rubbish at arguing and debating?
RH: The advice is simple. All of life is a con trick. All of it. It’s one long confidence trick from start to end. From walking into a bar you shouldn’t be simply by walking into it like you own the gaff… you’d be amazed the amount of times a bouncer like look at a person like that and think that they’ve clearly been here before so I’ll let them in. If you walk in with enough of a sense of purpose, people generally assume that you know what you’re doing. The same goes for arguing. You can spout pretty much any rubbish and if you sound confident enough, most people will be too timid to question you. This is a technique Brigstocke uses almost permanently. He sounds posh and erudite, and make great pronouncements, which you assume must be true. It’s only afterwards, when you’re sitting around, you realise that Albania isn’t the capital of France.

TVS: Now, you’re also on Richard and Judy, is that right? As in-house comedian?
RH: In their New Position.

TVS: What is their new position?
RH: It’s lovely to have a chat with Richard and Judy. So much so, that why bother with current affairs?

TVS: Exactly, there’s not that much going on at the moment…
RH: Everything’s very boring, so why not concentrate on the exciting things in the world…

TVS: Like…
RH: What Eddie Izzard’s doing at the moment… rather than what they used to do on Channel 4 – a cat has a cold and here to discuss it is Vanessa Feltz and Nick Ferrari. Rather than that they’re going all out with big names and real people, creating a big entertainmenty show. Which, to be honest in this day and age, at eight o’clock, Monday to Thursday, there’s not a lot else on. So why not take an hour out of your day to check in with the biggest stars in the world chat with Richard and Judy?

TVS: In a new position…
RH: Yes. Exactly. To be honest I’m reading all that from a poster I’m sat next to…