Any new TV chef discovered by Pat Llewellyn (she of Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay fame) has to be treated with at least a bit of respect, but I have to say my first impressions of Valentine Warner weren’t great. There he was, in Observer Food Monthly, standing in the middle of a river fishing. In his pants. His new show, What To Eat Now, was, the article explained, to feature a posh bloke who had been raised on a farm rambling about the countryside shooting and hunting things. I like my cookery shows to be aspirational, and although Delia’s recent frozen food debacle pushed this idea too far, I still want my food TV to inspire me to go into my kitchen and knock up something I’d seen on the telly. It was fairly unlikely that I’d take up arms myself and go and shoot pigeons. So what was the point of this show?
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My initial reservations about Valentine were, I’m happy to report, off the mark. He was actually a really engaging host and watching last night’s episode it really struck me that there were definite comparisons to be made with Jamie Oliver. Jamie shook up the establishment with a bit of bing-bang-bosh, and Valentine seemed to be in the same mould, albeit from a different angle.
His schtick was the eccentric posh boy, but there was something very natural and endearing about him. With his big forehead and rectangular chin, he reminded me of football manager Iain Dowie (you can have a look at him here), and he was friendly, enthusiastic and funny too.
The first segment showed Val fishing for crayfish and picking green hazelnuts. I thought to myself with a sigh, “here we go”, but his language was refreshing. “I’m going to get deliciously hardcore with some crayfish”, and “I’m going to do very bad things things to these things with butter”. This was all said with a mischievous smile.
And what was I talking about when I said that his food looked un-aspirational? His crayfish with hazlenut and pastis stuffing looked AMAZING and definitely something I’d try at home. This is where the next comparison with Oliver became apparent - during the cooking sequences there was same mad energy, the same tangle of frantic chopping, whirring arms and heads-down concentration. Gratifyingly, each cooking sequence was also with the suffix, “If you can’t catch your own crayfish, you can buy them at your local fishmonger”.
I also like the way that he referred to eating something as “getting involved” (eg. “If you don’t mind ladies, I’m going to get involved with your cake”). Another little goofy but endearing twist of language.
Elsewhere in the episode there was also an entertaining sequence where he entered himself into a WI cooking competition (where he managed to win third prize with a sloe gin and blackberry jelly) and taught a crack clay pigeon shooter how to shoot real wood pigeon (which produced a very nice-looking wood pigeon breast with a salad of pickled walnuts, roasted chicory and orange).
I still maintain that this won’t inspire people to go out fishing or shooting things, but getting out in the open and picking your own is eminently possible after watching this. So this was really more of a celebration of British hedgerows and her great outdoors, and as for Valentine Warner he proves that you should never judge a posh bloke by his tweed.
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