There’s nothing like a really good ding-dong-doo on University Challenge (BBC Two, Monday, 1 September, 8pm) to make this writer feel thick as digested pig-feed. Once upon a time, I would have hurled abuse at the screen with scorn and unrequited jealousy… but now I’m a little older (and hopefully a fraction wiser) my hatred has turned into a strange mixture of envy and pity. Not to mention my continued gripe that the teams aren’t stacked on top of each other (like on Blankety Blank – a very similar show I think you’ll agree)

The show, since Paxman’s grabbing of the leash, has become a better spectacle. Previously, it all felt a bit ‘debating hall’, whereas now, there’s something of the stern schoolmaster giving his pupils a swift kick up the arse with smatterings of praise. That all too familiar “COME ON” and “YOU MUST ANSWER AS SOON AS YOU BUZZ” is interspersed with gentle “well done!” and “we look forward to seeing you back” comments. He’s not all ogre is Paxo.

So what’s all this about envy and pity?

The students who take part in the show are, unquestionably, bright and knowledgeable. They know all kinds of stuff that makes my hair curl and are able to provide answers to questions that I can barely keep up with, let alone understand. However, with that, one look at these Oxbridge types (as featured last night) and you can’t help but imagine them in all kinds of horrendous accidents that someone from the real world would never find themselves in.

They remind me of a story an old teacher told me. She went to Uni with this Mathematical genius. He could crunch the ideas and theories of numbers and make 1+1=Absolutely Anything You Like. Pure maths, dirty maths… this kid could do it all. He was a gifted philosophiser and could explain quantum science in his sleep. However, when faced with making some chips, he’d invariably set his kitchen on fire.

These kids remind me of this anecdote all the time. While they’re buried in various dusty tomes, you can almost see their little flats burning around their furrowed brows as they’ve forgotten to turn the chip pan off… again. So with that, this great gift of knowledge many of these stoodents have, comes at the expense of social skills. With that, University Challenge should be watched with a curious eye indeed.