Everyone loves a panel show, and every channel seems to have one these days. The very best – Have I Got News For You?, Never Mind The Buzzcocks QI and the upcoming Argumental on Dave - are just so easy to watch that you find yourself chuckling quietly at the general wittiness that abounds. Celebrity Juice, on the other hand, makes you want to vomit. And throw the television out of the window. It was that bad – so embarrassingly awful - that it was a real strain to watch it all the way through.

Leigh Francis, he of Bo Selecta fame, hosted (or at least his latest alter ego Keith Lemon did). I wasn’t sure what Keith Lemon was supposed to be. At least his Bo Selecta stuff hadn’t been seen before and there was a point to his characters, but it seemed to me that Keith was just a cartoon northerner with highlighted hair, a bad tan and a shouty voice.

Which segues neatly to the team captains. Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton are two of our very worst television presenters, but depressingly ITV thinks it’s a very good idea to put these two together. It did it Holly & Fearne Go Dating (read a review here), and now it’s doing it again. You’d think the channel would have learned.

The rest of the guests included Dermot O’Leary, Paddy McGuinness, celeb journalist Rav Singh and, inexplicably, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. As Holly did her usual ‘wowee Scoobie’ husky voiced thing (she was wearing a very nice dress, I’ll give her that), Fearne did her usual trying to convince everyone that she’s a rock n’ roll chick and talking-like-she’s-chewing-mouthful-of-straw thing, Keith Lemon did his really unfunny thing. In fact, you could see Laurence thinking “What the hell am I doing here?” all the way through.

So we had some wittering from Lemon and some rounds where the guests had to answer some questions about celeb stuff that had happened throughout the week.There were some observation rounds, where the Bo Selecta style characters returned, and Birds Of A Feather’s Lesley Joseph inexplicably came on dressed as Amy Winehouse with category names stuck to her beehive (a ploy similar to The Dove From Above in Vic and Bob’s peerless Shooting Stars). Surely a career lowlight for Joseph.

The whole thing was so weird, so unfunny, that I wasn’t quite sure all this was happening. To be fair, Holly and Fearne didn’t say much and when they did they played it fairly straight. Rav said pretty much nothing, as did Laurence and Paddy. Dermot was almost as annoying as Lemon, mainly because he laughed really loudly at anything that Lemon said. But even he stopped after a while, and decided that the best way to get a laugh was to swear. The crowd cheered when he said the f-word. Nice one.

Ultimately, this was Keith Lemon’s show. He shouted, he put on stupid voices and he serially interrupted his guests. He was awful, the show was awful and I felt awful after watching it. In fact, I’ll go further. Anything or anyone that deflects my ire from two of my least favourite TV people (say hi there Holly and Fearne) has to be really bad. Keith Lemon was that bad last night.

If you see a worse television show this year I feel very sorry for you indeed.

Dreadful shite.