So who’ve you heard’s on it this year? Zara Phillips? Katie and Peter Andre? Teddy Sheringham? Well, according to The Sun, that’s wrong, wrong and… wrong.

Although the BBC have yet to announce the line-up for the best reality TV show ever (in my opinion), The Sun reckons its got the goods…

First of all, though, do you fancy a look at the BBC’s own teaser trailer?

I’ve always been fantastic at A Question of Sport’s Mystery Guest, so if I spent quite a while (and assuming they used the real celebrities and not decoys), I might be able to confirm some of the following, but I haven’t got that kind of time. I guess we can assume that the professionals featured are definitely back this year, so – yay! – more Brendan Cole!

Anyway, that’s enough procrastination. The alleged line-up – in alphabetical order, since putting them in order of level of “fame” would be tricky – is as follows:

Christine Bleakley – One Show host and alleged Adrian Chiles “special friend”;
Andrew Castle – GMTV presenter;
Tim Chambers – from Holby City, apparently;
Phil Daniels – Eastenders, Quadrophenia, Blur’s Parklife;
Mark Foster – a swimmer, apparently;
Austin Healey – rugby player, classic car*;
Jodie Kidd – model;
Cherie Lunghi – actress: The Manageress, much beloved of probably everyone’s dad;
Gary Rhodes – irritating, stupid-haired, chef;
John Sergeant – former BBC political correspondent;
Heather Small – foghorn-voiced M People singer;
Lisa Snowdon – model, TV presenter, former girlfriend of George Clooney;
Rachel Stevens – formerly of S Club 7, much beloved of lads’ mags;
Gillian Taylforth – Eastenders, Footballers Wives and the tabloids;
Jessie Wallace – Eastenders and the tabloids;
Don Warrington – you know, from Rising Damp… you know, in the seventies.

So there’s something for everyone there, isn’t there? Actually, male viewers have got a lot more eye-candy than female viewers, but it’s not about that, is it? It’s about the dancing. And the crap dancing. And the in-fighting. And the judges. And… Bruce.

And, of course, the above list might be a load of old rubbish. As soon as I know, you’ll know.

I can at least confirm that the series starts on Saturday, 20th September on BBC One and you can apply for tickets here from this Thursday (28 August).

* When I worked in Waterstone’s, a colleague was infamous for having sent a customer who asked for Austin Healey’s autobiography to Halfords.