In the tiny microcosm of society that Big Brother has become to its degenerate inhabitants, ‘head of house’ really means something. It’s a bit like being Head Girl or Head Boy at school but without the OBVIOUS BIAS TOWARDS ‘POPULAR’ KIDS. Luckily I got over my bitterness at being outrageously overlooked for that particular position, and was able to heartily support the sporty good-looking kids who made the grade. Oh yes, I’m the bigger person now. Bile and venom are strangers to me these days. Sorry, where was I? Yeah, Big Brother. As with school, it takes a generous heart and a strong stomach to vote in one of your rivals as Head…

Mohamed has been made Head of House, voted in by his surprisingly bogey-tolerant fellow housemates. Here (via our occasionally-unreliable but fundamentally well-loved friend Wikipedia) is what a “HoH” does on Big Brother:

“The HoH is responsible for doing the shopping list and deciding who does what in the shopping task. The HoH is immune from being nominated for the week they are HoH, but they can still nominate. The HoH does not participate in any of the weekly shopping tasks, but supervises instead.”

Basically it’s all about shopping. Doesn’t sound so cool now, does it? Meanwhile, we’re in the home straight. Who do we want to win? You decide.