Conflict is always hardest on the children, but I find the fall-out of my on-screen ‘parents’ Dannii and Shaz particularly hard to cope with. Although I think she acts like an idiot, I’m basically a big fan of mummy Osbourne – there should be more genuine wildcards like her on telly. But it sounds like she was mean to mummy Dannii and daddy Louis’s turned against her, too. However, she does now have “Girls Aloud beauty Cheryl Cole” to work with instead, and seems happy with the arrangement even if the Australian is now quite visibly least fertile woman on the judging panel. Dannii said Cheryl “brings a breath of fresh, young air to the show.” Which is hopefully sufficient to cancel out whatever kind of ‘air’ Louis brings.