I gave BBC One’s new drama series Bonekickers a bit of a kicking in its own right earlier today, but I know our esteemed editor Paul has been lucky enough (*cough*) to see the first three episodes in preview, and still thinks it’s pretty good. Not that I’m wimping out from my firmly-held belief that the first episode was a pile of steaming pants or anything, but I was keen to see what the rest of t’Interweb was saying about Army of God. I needn’t have worried. Click through for a selection of comments from all over the TV watching world, which (ballpark estimate) appear to be about 20-1 in favour of the pants option. Although I doubt this is quite what “Dolly” Parton meant when he asked if anyone had had “an underpants moment.”

Digital Spy Forums
“Identify yourself, creepy caller” Poor Julie Graham having to work with lines like that.

And Adrian Lester took a break from Hustle. Sack yer agent mate!

To see the BBC create such a dumbed down piece of shite for mainstream telly beggars belief.

This makes Primeval look like the Sopranos.

Well that’s an hour of my life I’m never getting back. What a complete load of tripe.

That was just about the worst hour of TV ever shown on BBC1. Appalling dialogue, bad dubbing, bad acting – just bad bad bad! I can’t believe this is from the same team as Life On Mars/Ashes to Ashes. What were they thinking?

I wasn’t keen on this when I first read about it but strong casting and the writers of LoM drew me in. Its got to be one of the worst BBC dramas I’ve ever sat through. I just can’t imagine who this is for. The dialogue was so bland and childlike and the whole thing took itself far too seriously. By no means did I expect another smash like Life on Mars but my word this was dire.

TVForum
This was the most simply ridiculous bit of television I’ve seen in months.

DVD Reviewer
What a load of old tosh! Made out to be CSI meets Raiders Of The Lost Ark, but completely clueless.

I’m still in disbelief that this got past the script-reading stage, let alone onto prime-time TV. Naff acting, ludicrous plot, corny lines.

I’ll be surprised if this makes it to the end of its run. I thought Torchwood was stupid, but Bonekickers is a whole order of magnitude dumber. If it had been made with any semblance of a sense of humour, it might have worked, but it had nothing going for it – terrible writing, terrible acting, no chemistry among the characters. Real train wreck television. The really really shocking thing is this televisual turd was written by the team who created Life On Mars. If Chris Chibnall (responsible for some of the worst Torchwood scripts) had come up with this one… but you know something, even Chibber’s Cyberwoman script was genius compared with this show. I shall never complain about Torchwood or Primeval again.

Cable Forum
Was looking forward to this seeing as it had adrian leicester from spooks in it – just watched it on the PVR and I couldnt stand the first 5 mins and had to switch it off. so much over acting and breathless intensity!!! I felt stressed!! I at least expected a slow burn, archeologists surely are not that over excitable and intense, surely they are analytical and evaluative not reactionary and over excitable – totally ruined any sense of disbelief I was willing to afford the series in order to enjoy the drama – deflating and disappointing.

Topix
The characters failed to engage, the plot was from some A level Drama student’s coursework – cant say I’m hooked. Pity about the hype, it failed to match expectations.

…and our very own TV Scoop
In response to Paul’s First Look post after seeing the previews:
You thought it was rather good? i’m never ever going to believe anything you ever say again.I watched twenty minutes of it and had to turn it off, the biggest load of drivel i’ve ever seen, the BBC sink to an all time low, if it had just a little bit of archaeological reality i might have suffered it until the end.

It was the biggest heap of dog excrement in the entire history of television. There are no adjectives or phrases to describe it, other than an insult to the intelligence. To think that the same people were responsible for Life On Mars, which was utterly brilliant. How very, very sad.

I managed to sit through about thirty minutes before giving up. I thought it was dreadful. I won’t watch again.

Well this opening episode could be titled ‘Relic of the True Turkey’. Of course the entire production team, BBC commissing editors and 10 viewers nationwide would disagree.