You probably won’t need reminding that The Apprentice (BBC One, Wednesday, 11 June
9pm) is set to climax and announce the person who will end up working for Alan Sugar. Hangonaminute! There’s this thing called ‘double dipping’ which is generally frowned upon in the business world. Basically, from my rudimentary grasp of such matters, I think it means that someone takes two lumps of money from one project. So, in this case, Siralan will get his pay packet from starring in this show AND make a rake of money from whoever wins the show. Either way, people aren’t too fussed about that and are waiting with giddy tummies to find out who wins the gameshow.

To be honest, I don’t care too much for this show and think the whole thing is a bit of a sham. That said, it certainly doesn’t fill me with the same bile that other reality shows do… although it gets fuggin’ close at times. On the farce side of things, it’s a bit like Big Brother inasmuch that, it doesn’t really matter who wins, because everyone does alright out of it. Look at Ruth Badger. The fact I still know her name is probably testament to that.

Anyway. The final. What have they got to do for the final task? Well, they’ve got to dream up an original male fragrance and launch it to an audience of industry experts. Why? Presumably in the hope they’ll balls it up. Of course, like previous finals, they can get the failures from the series to join them in the task. Thankfully that means we get to see SuperFop, Raef. I liked him (purely on the grounds that he’s a preposterous individual who has just fallen out of a copy of The Beano).

With this being a final, expect Alan Sugar to go “eeeeer….. um…… errrr…. erm… well… um… let’s see…. who to pick…. ummmm….. errrr…. well, y’see…. hmmmm…. the winner…. um… uummmmm…. ermmm….” for a full ten minutes while you hop around on the sofa screaming “TELL ME! TELL ME! I COULD DIE WAITING HERE! TEEEEEELLLL MMMMEEEE!”

The Apprentice: You’re Fired! follows on BBC2 at 10pm, with The Apprentice: You’re Hired! on BBC1 at 10.40pm.