Man. I’m a great smoker. I smoke as well as Hunter S. Thompson used’ta. However, I’m trying to give up and failing miserably. Maybe, if I can’t do it through will power (as the ‘death’ facts certainly don’t phase me none) then maybe, I’ll manage through morals? But who is prepared to take on the cig’ companies and show me what a bunch of horrible swine they all are? Ah, it’s Duncan…

…Bannatyne Takes On Big Tobacco: This World (BBC Two, Tuesday, 1 July, 9pm). What? Duncan Bannatyne is usual a TV ogre, scowling away up in his Dragon’s Den and generally trying to pick a fight with people. I don’t like him… usually. One thing he’s clearly got in his favour is that he won’t pimp his arse to just about anything like someone else we know (looking at you Peter Jones).

So anyway, Dunc’ doesn’t just want to curl his face up at everyone. Sometimes he wants to do something with a bit more clout… so who better to have a pop at big business than someone from big business?

Come Tuesday (that’s not like Shrove Tuesday) we’ll see Bannatyne casting aside the dour business man in the sober suit in favour of… well… almost a philanthropist. Believe me, I never thought I’d write that. Get this… he’ll have linen kecks on as well. Anwyay, Big Dunc’ is out to have a go at British American Tobacco who seemingly don’t mind that Mauritian schoolchildren use their lunch money to buy single cigarettes.

Will Bannatyne be able to lay the smackdown on some elusive PR spod? Whatever, it’ll be fun watching him try…