I was going to start this post with “DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD” until I realised a) Michael isn’t a witch and b) that’s a bit harsh. But you know what I mean – how could I *not* celebrate the fact that Michael Sophocles has finally, finally been fired from The Apprentice? About three weeks after the time at which he *should* have been fired, admittedly, and even as he did the deed, you could see that Sir Alan was wondering whether he was making the right decision (YES! YES YOU ARE!) but all those provisos aside, Michael is gone. About time too…

We’re onto Week 10 now, and the contestants have dwindled down to a measly six. As Claire answered the usual early morning call, my suspicion that the she never takes those pearls off were confirmed by the fact that she was wearing them with her pyjamas… Michael was clearly not happy to be starting another task: “It’s never gonna stop, is it?” he rhetorically asked, like a man holed up in the trenches or Guantanamo Bay. When the task was announced at a breaker’s yard – that the teams would be renting out Top Gear’s favourite supercars – I thought he might cheer up, but no. “I abhor cars” he said. “They are alien to me.”

Alex and Lee, unsurprisingly, were a little more animated about the whole thing. As they wandered through the auto-graveyard Alex said “How cool would it be if we came across a DeLorean” (the first thing he’s said in a while to make me warm to him) and when the cars rolled up they both grinned from ear to ear. Each team would have to pick two cars to rent out, ranging from £600-£2750 a day. Michael went for a nifty red Ferrari – the cheapest of the bunch – and a Spyker. Lee plumped for the Aston Martin and then deliberated for a while over whether to go for the high risk strategy of choosing the Zonda, which was by far and away the most outlandish car, but also came with the biggest price tag, and they would only be able to rent it out for full days, not hours. He went for it.

As I said, Michael has no interest or knowledge about cars and yet, somewhat incomprehensibly, he decided to go off and try and rent the Ferrari on his own while Claire and Helene dealt with the Spyker. They hit Spittlefields, and attracted the city boys – Michael, on the other hand, parked up on a sleepy sidestreet. He didn’t have much look, as you’d imagine.

Lee and Alex decided to try and flog the Zonda while Lucinda – *not* a salesperson – went off to print and perforate raffle tickets while the Aston Martin sat outside. Not a great use of resources you might think, and when she rejoined the boys, she became even more frustrated as they sent her off on her own again, despite the fact that she was not comfortable selling. She had a little weep in the car, and then got on with things as best she could. Lee and Alex were finding the Zonda a very hard sell, but they finally got a sale late in the morning for a 10% discount.

Poor Michael was having little luck, so decided to move the car. To Notting Hill Market. “I don’t want to sound snobbish” he said “but these people really aren’t wealthy enough.” You’d think that that might have given him the impetus to move on again, but instead he simply harangued one man for ages. And I mean ages – he even followed him up the street. The Apprentice really does force me to watch through my fingers sometimes…

In the evening, both teams went head to head at Canary Wharf. Lucinda, bless her, tried to “shadow” Lee for a while to pick up a few selling tips, but his reluctance only served to make her look pathetic and him look selfish. With a couple of hours to go, only Lee and Claire had made sales – and this really annoyed Alex: “Inside my brain I am a high calibre salesman” he said. But not a high calbire linguist, presumably. Even Lucinda managed to “do a sale” before he did, but in the end he sold two days for the Zonda, actually making him the best salesman overall in the end.

Back in the boardroom, Sir Alan was quick to establish that neither team was split up sensibly, what with Lucinda pushed to one side and Michael determined to go it alone. Lee’s high risk strategy – as with the wedding dresses – payed off brilliantly, and they blew Michael’s Renaissance out of the water. It was clear, as Claire had been such a wonderful salesperson as usual, that Sir Alan’s decision would be between Helene and Michael. Now, much as I wanted Michael to go, because I’m just annoyed at how many chances Sir Alan has given him, I have to say that Helene has coasted through this competition and that Michael was actually right when he said that she was “utterly insignificant” on this task – she has been utterly insignificant on most tasks, even when she was project manager. Sir Alan felt the same, and you could tell that *really* he’d have liked to have fired her. But in the end, he had to admit defeat, and accept that despite Michael’s self-professed “glimmers of brilliance” he finally had to go. Thank goodness.