You know I said that this weekend would be the last of the football on TV? Well, I kinda lied. Y’see, there’s a couple of games left to be shown on terrestrial TV, and the first is the UEFA Cup Final: Rangers v Zenit St Petersburg (ITV1, Wednesday, 14 May, 7.30pm). With football becoming increasingly predictable, with the Premier League fought out between four, and the same ol’ teams progressing through the Champions League, we have to look elsewhere for unpredictability. So, for fans of real football, it’ll be great to see Rangers taking on the dark horses from St Petersburg. There’s only one real drawback to the game… and that’s the channel it’s on.

There’s three main reasons why ITV’s coverage of football is garbage.

1. Matt Smith.

Matt Smith reeks of someone who doesn’t really like football. He reminds me of one of those Essex Man United fans who started taking an interest when they started winning things. This might be completely untrue, but that’s what he seems like.

2. Andy Townsend’s Gadgets

Where most TV companies are happy in the knowledge that, any graphics that go with punditry are allowed to be simply on-screen, will not leave fans scratching their heads and wondering why there’s arrows coming from players feet and huge hatched yellow areas in midfield, ITV aren’t so confident. As such, they take a step back and show Andy Townsend prodding a touch-screen and cut ‘n’ pasting players and shunting them around. It’s dreadful to watch.

3. Andy Townsend.

The BBC’s pundit team has more medals than a celebrated war hero. League titles, World Cups, FA Cup winners medals, victory in Europe… they’ve got it all. Alan Hansen may be dour, but man, he knows his stuff. So, ITV, when choosing a pundit went for someone who won piss-all and played for Norwich City. They may as well have chosen Dale Gordon or Robert Fleck. Surely there’s ex-players out there with better judgement and more glittering careers than Andy Townsend? I’d rather see Dean Holdsworth than him.

Aside from those three (admittedly big) problems, the real fun is on the pitch. Both teams will be going for it and there should be goals galore as fatigue creates errors and mistakes. Should be a great final and the fans will be in great voice. The match comes from the City of Manchester Stadium and Peter Drury commentates.