Typical. 3,000 hopefuls turn out to audition for the third series of Skins and I’ve only got 2,999 bullets. That’s right, the dreadful Skins is recruiting, which means that there are far more irritating little gits with razor sharp cheek bones knocking around than I’d originally envisioned. Executive producer Bryan Elsley announced last month that the show’s entire cast will change for the next season which meant that teenagers aged 16 and 17 showed up at Parliament Hill School in North-West London yesterday as casting scouts searched for the next stars of the hit E4 drama.

From this cull, only one existing cast member is to survive, notably, Tony’s younger sister Effy (played by Kaya Scodelario). She said: “I’m very excited to work with some new people and see how the show changes. But I think it’s good to have a fresh start. Because people do move on, people do leave. So, it’s great that they’re doing it. It’s different as well. It’s very exciting.” So what are the producers looking for?

Apparently, producers are looking for identical twin girls, an Eastern European and a “nasty piece of work” for the new cast. Not to mention ‘painfully hip and handsome types who are able to play vacuous, vapid dolts who will portray life like we’ve never known in the attempt to make a titillating show for people who’ll lap just about any old crap up’.

The second day of open auditions will be held today at the same location… and learn how to make your own Skins here.