For some stupid reason, I watched Coleen’s Real Women (ITV2, Wednesday, 8pm). The show, or last night’s show at least, revolved around Wayne Rooney’s bit of fluff, as she searched for a ‘real’ woman to front a campaign for Avon. It was Find Me The Face all over again.

The premise of this show was to watch Coleen McCloughlin searching for a naturally beautiful women… so she traveled to Birmingham and took along a make-up artist before hitting the streets and searching for a new cover girl who is real. In a way, it’s a reasonably admirable task… I mean, models rarely look like the people you see walking down the street. However, as Coleen lives in la-la land, would she know a real woman if one came and kicked her up the arse?

For my money, Coleen McLoughlin is not the best person to call ‘reality’. ITV once said that she was perfect for a show like this because she never left her roots. Well, it might seem a bit trite on my behalf, but carrying around a Chanel handbag worth about a grand ain’t exactly showing off your realness is it?

Another thing that annoyed me about Coleen being the poster girl for ‘real’ is that, once, when criticised for her wardrobe of fur and snakeskin, she claimed that people were purposefully overlooking the animals primary reason for existence… and that is to make clothing, saying “these animals were put here for a reason, and if you don’t understand that, then go to Primark, because you’re probably just jealous”. Now, how real is that? Even more infuriating when you think of her fronting Asda George’s clothing range.

So, this show managed to get some ‘real’ women. Two of them were certainly ‘real’, which essentially means a dress size of ten or above. That’s fair enough. However, the third one, a very svelte young lass won the comp. Now, She wasn’t 6ft+, but it made me pretty depressed that the fashion industry went for the very thin one again. It makes me think that the Dove campaigns featuring women of all shapes and sizes are the only true success in leveling the playing field for beautiful women.

So who would I have instead of Coleen as host? I mean, Coleen is clearly not ‘one of us’. Maybe Fern Britton? I know she’s got a healthy bank balance, but you imagine that she’d be the same personality regardless of cash flow. Or maybe someone from a soap? There’s loads of ‘real’ and ‘grounded’ women who could do this job better. Y’see, Coleen’s remit seems to be ‘well, she might be slim, but she is a real woman’… well, yes, she exists… thus making her real… but how about pushing someone truly different? And that is what’s wrong with this show… afraid to push something different.