Only yesterday, I was saying that Big Brother may be watching me, but I’m not watching Big Brother. As further proof, I twittered on about how no-one was watching and didn’t even mention that it was the final. Why? I simply didn’t know. It would seem that I wasn’t the only one to have let Celebrity Hijack slip under the radar as the show limped out with a paltry 644,000 viewers.

As you probably know, the ‘reality’ show was told to go hike by Channel 4 after the racism row, so, on E4, the show was left shivering out in the cold and lonely. If you wanna know how bad the figures really are, the last Celebrity BB landed itself 3.2 million viewers. So with that, Dermot O’Leary left the Big Brother franchise through the backdoor, under the cover of the night… and off to bigger things. Not that it’ll mean anything to you, but the show was won by John Loughton, a 20-year-old politician from Edinburgh.