Set The Video – My Fake Baby, Channel 4, Wednesday, 10pm

As an outsider, it’s impossible for me to understand the allure of owning a very realistic baby doll. When I say ‘outsider’, I mean a bloke that has never lost a baby or am a lady who has left it too late to have children of my own. Despite the crass name, My Fake Baby (Channel 4, Wednesday, 10pm) promises to lend a sympathetic ear and some insight into the world of ‘reborn’ dolls.

Some women spend thousands of pounds on these lifelike dolls, some of which have beating hearts, tiny veins and… but they’re terrifying. Adoptive “mums” are clearly brought great comfort, so my churlish views shouldn’t count for anything… obviously my views are not unlike Danny (the drug dealer) from Withnail & I (“a doll that shits itself as well… it’s ‘orrible really”)… but then again, I’m a heartless git. If I grow up for a second, this should be an unusual and fascinating documentary.

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