Every single fibre in my body is designed to despise and loathe Top Gear (BBC Two, Sunday, 8pm). I hate cars. I hate testosterone fueled blokes acting all macho. I hate people razzing the life out of cars for kicks. I hate ‘magazine’ programmes. I especially hate Richard Hammond. So why on earth have I found myself completely enamoured with the show?

Top Gear continues to defy all logic in my head. The reviews of high performance cars should interest me less than someone talking about covalent bonding. However, I find myself singgering at Clarkson’s euphemisms and wondering just how much fun Clarkson, May and Hammond actually have. However, that aside, sometimes the Top Gear team drop all that in the name of folly… and this is when the boys really excel.

That’s right. Last night, Clarkson and Co showed Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman how to really make a road trip. The team drove ‘the spine of Africa’ from Botswana, across horrendous and hostile salt plains, to… somewhere (I can’t remember at the moment… it should come to me before the end of this article) in the name of ‘balls… we might as well eh?’. You see, where McGregor and Boorman show us every painstaking detail of the preparation and whoop at their bikes, the Top Gear lads just muck about and achieve the preposterous for our entertainment.

The boys set off on a journey… an epic journey… in what could kindly be described as ‘unsuitable’ vehicles. In an attempt to show those ninnies who drive 4x4s ’round the home counties on the school run, Jeremy tackled Africa in an old Lancia, James in an old Merc and Hammond in a 1964 Opel Kadett (named ‘Oliver’). If the gang are making a point, it’s a bit like trying to crack walnuts with a H-Bomb.

In true gung-ho style, the boys charged off across amazingly troublesome terrain in their knackered old motors, full customised to ease their way across the sludge of the salt plains. This essentially meant making the cars lighter by smashing bits off with a hammer… things like the doors and such. Seeing the incredible and beautiful landscapes of Botswana, with burnt Orange dustbowl sun rises is one thing… seeing them with the shells of cars hurtling through shot is another completely.

Of course, the reason why Top Gear is so much fun is that the car isn’t the only star. The personalities razzing around in them are (save for Hammond) a joy to watch. Driving through bush country (which means hungry and angry animals) the lads decided to play a joke on May by filling pockets of his car with mean, including a rather delightful cow head in his boot. Just in case the animals didn’t catch the putrid stench, a cow bell was fitted underneath the car to attract a little more attention. As a prank, it’s purile, clever and funny. Pretty much encapsulating why Top Gear is so much fun in the first place.