TV is the theatre of cruelty. Most programmes seem to be about misery or, the impending misery of people. Some are gritty documentaries about people with the kind of problems that make you weep into your lap… other shows use misery to take someone on a journey… and thus, making us all weep into our laps. The news, with its constant war, brutality and decline, has left me numbed to suffering and reality TV has left me wanting blood. Yep. I’m a crueler person thanks to the gogglebox.
I realised this during Can Fat Teens Hunt? (BBC Three, Monday, 10.30pm) when I agreed with my girlfriend who flatly stated “We’ll have to watch this every week you understand… I want to see these people break…”. Instead of being appalled, I agreed wholeheartedly. The show is about ten teens who are frighteningly overweight. Instead of getting Gillian McKeith to bully them (or an equivalent) the tubby teens are sent to a remote jungle in Borneo to live with the Iban tribe… and of course, with each new way of life comes a pathetic excuse…
Normally, I’m quite a caring person. I like to see people sorting themselves out and becoming happier. It makes me all gooey inside. However, sometimes, I turn into a heartless bastard and wish nothing but ill. This show was designed to get my dander up and make me scoff and side with the rock hard Iban. Living in a remote jungle, you have to be fit. Of course you do. When was the last time you saw a fat tribesman? They hunt their food on foot, collect their firewood by hand, prepare every single thing that passes their lips manually and generally do things that make them lithe and springy. Fat British teens eat processed crap and whine.
So, with a trip to Borneo, it is apparent very quickly that, if they don’t pull a podgy finger out, they might just starve. Greeted with the slaying of a pig in front of their eyes, the teens eye-roll and wretch in horror, going pinker with each piggy squeal. I vividly imagined the Iban stifling their laughs off camera. If the killing of a pig (to cleanse their blood before they enter their house) is a startling sight, it’s nothing compared to the looks on the faces of the Iban when they see some serious fatness. Some of them merely stand and gawp like something has just dropped from space at their feet.
Of course, the teens grump their way o’er hill and dale when fetching wood and food. With some of them, they realise very quickly that, if they don’t fetch wood, they can’t cook… and if they don’t fetch food, they won’t eat. It’s a simple thought process, but it profoundly hits a couple of them as they begin to understand how it all works. I like the kids that get it. In fact, in a cadid teenager way, one lad quips “You just have to get on with it… we’re all fat fuckers… that’s why we’re here.” You can’t help but applaud that. Sadly, the fat stereotype rears a chubby face almost everywhere else.
One lad is all “I can’t do it…” and “I don’t like it”. One girl is worse. “I WANT TO GO HOME! I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS! I MIGHT AS WELL JUST WALK AROUND!” Pardon? When told by a peer that, in short, she’s being a complete dunderhead, she cries “I CAAAAAAN’T! I’M PROUD OF MYSELF FOR BEING HERE FOR ONE DAAAAAAY… UUUURGH SNIFF WAAAAA” Please bear in mind that this lass was acting like this after one meal. Not even a full day had passed. Naturally, she stayed. Why? People the nutritionist on site told her that she needs to lose weight more than anyone else on the show or, y’know, she might die.
Now, save two or three of the ten who I like, the rest of them can whistle. The sheer volume of complaining and lack of willing made me turn almost McKeith like in my venom for overweight people. For every tear that fell…. for every fat huff’n'puff’n'stuff, I became more frustrated. It seemed that some of these kids needed to be broken before progress can be made (see? I’m turning into that joyless food Nazi McKeith). Thankfully, all this is done without bullying. On Brat Camp for example, kids are sorted out with a mixture of tough love, patience and positive words. Not on this show. This show is simple. Forage – hunt – build… or die. I’m not wishing a death on anyone… but boy, what an ultimatum!
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It seems all the idiots/big characters were profiled last night. I have to say I liked Theryi and the Essex girl who killed that bug on her knee she seems like a laugh. It does seem a couple of the boys are able to talk sense, the one with the beard and the one with the brown curly hair seemed a laugh. Its a shame everyone knows the name of that disgusting specimen that is Danielle, and not the others who seem quite respectable people. Cant wait to see next weeks!
It’s compelling viewing. I’m almost tempted to lay a bet on who the first kid to die will be but I’m sure I couldn’t get any decent odds on the muslim lad (who almost came a cropper already after plunging 15 feet into a river). I honestly can’t wait for the next installment
I was delighted when informed about this show by my mother, as we are exstatic to watch fat kids fall on their readily-stuffed faces. Oh what larks we will have watching this. Plus, I’m a chubby teen, but it’s such a shallow boost to see people bigger than me being rediculed. At least I have the grace to admit I’m slightly ashamed of it, right?
i was on da show and u cant judge it by just watching it. not many people wod of got on da plane let alone da actual jungle. so as they say dont judge a book by its cover so dont be judging me!!!
Danielle you are an embarasment!
We are not juding people by what is on the outside. Unfortunately on the outside you have been showing yourself to be a spoilt little girl unfortunately. Yes, well done for getting on that plane.
But.
Not well done for getting on that plane hardy before the experiment started….
u no wat yer ur mums an embarasment 4bringin u up! so wat u either h8 me or love me, wat can i say yer i cum from a family that love me so wat if im spoilet at least i no my boundries! i wod of liked 2c u try!
Maybe I did try?
Dude, this show is amazing! I want to go live with the Iban! However, I’m probably on the opposite end of the scale to the kids on the show! Can never really seem to put on weight…boooooo!
Danielle, you had an amazing opportunity to show everyone that you were serious about losing weight and changing your unhealthy lifstyle around.
Instead you moaned whined, acted like a spoilt child and basically wasted a place on that program that could’ve gone to someone who would have made the effort.
The impression you made on that program was that you were too lazy to do anything and you thought that by making a fuss and turning on the waterworks you get everyone else to do your work for you.
There are hundreds of people,(not just overweight people) myself included who would’ve got on that plane and spent a month with the Iban and they would’ve made every effort to fit in with the tribe and try and improve themselves. Which unfortunatley you made no effort to
hi every 1 im just wondering does anyone no how to get onto the show or contact the producers because i am really really intrested in going on the show im 18 and weigh about 16-17-18 stone and just watching how the people coped with life in the jungle has spured me on to try to get on the next series so please if anyone has any information please could you leave me a e-mail on crazynufc@hotmail.com please if you have any information thank you luke x
hi every 1 im just wondering does anyone no how to get onto the show or contact the producers because i am really really intrested in going on the show im 18 and weigh about 16-17-18 stone and just watching how the people coped with life in the jungle has spured me on to try to get on the next series so please if anyone has any information please could you leave me a e-mail on crazynufc@hotmail.com please if you have any information thank you luke x
hi my name it christina and i have been watching can fat teens hunt. i have found the food of the iban life quite interesting . i would apperciate it if someone could send me some recipies . thank you christina
Ive been watching “can fat teens hunt?” and im hooked!!… It looks like an amazing experienceone which i’d like to take part in. the most infuriating contestant for me is Amy!! good gosh she moaned, aned and moaned, and her whining was too much to handle, glad shes gone now!!…..
but in addition to that, its a very good experience for them to have, yet some of them are wastd there, no good at all.
Luke, I suggest that you try and contact the bbc and im sure they could forward you onto the right people/production company who make the show. Good luck.
does anybody know where most off these teens are able to apply for programs like fatcamp can fat teens hunt etc. exspecially danielle?
would i be best to message the bbc personally or some seperate website
whilest watching these kind of programs i get such a desire to take part and be given this chance would be amazing .
to be honest as 16 stone 16 year old teen im highly intrested
if you know please inform me i would love to find out .
emmaroo@hotmai.co.uk
To anybody who took part on can fat teens hunt , i would be facinated if you could tell me how and where you find out about taking part on the program or anything simmilar as a very overweight 16 year old i am highly intrested?
i found it facinating and just think it would be an amazing opportunity
the culture,the life experience and having to grow up . please get back
- Emma
Email adress- Emmaroo@hotmail.co.uk myspace – http://www.myspace.com/uniquewannabe
righty here people . the show obviously wasnt tht much waste of time. i was on it the one you never saw cos i was quote “not fat enough to be seen as embarrasing” but the people on the show were all legends! so dont be being cruel at least some of them got off there arses and tried to do something rather than becoming a 30stone person who sits at home and eats packets and packets of jaffa cakes. i still speak to most of ya and u all look amazing!! especially me im fit lol so the show done something for me im fit in shape and engaged so yeah loved every minute. so all of yous can shoosh your moosh.
dedicated to me loud mouth gorgeous pink loving girl danielle. xxxxxxxxxxxxx cassie from essex. p.s 1st episode i didnt headbutt the chief ;p lol