Last time I reviewed Heston Blumenthal: in Search of Perfection (BBC Two, Tuesday, 8.30pm) I noted that Heston’s cookery show “takes the fun out of food by treating the whole thing like an Open University science course… but that’s not to say this programme is rubbish… hell no…”, something it seems Blumenthal is keen to address.

For those of you who haven’t seen the show, Heston strives to make the perfect example of a much loved dish. Last night, he set out to create the perfect hamburger. In previous episodes of series’ past, Heston has set fire to chickens in vats of molten fat and spent hours and hours creating an oven in the ground of his car-park. Naturally, we’re only supposed to gawp as he offers very little in the way of sensible tips. That would normally be a problem… but not with Heston…

Blumenthal, like anyone who gets their own show, blags some free trips abroad in the name of research. It’s like us writers claiming for books and the like on our tax forms. So, in his quest, he stopped off at the spiritual home of the burger in the US. I wish I could remember the name of the place, but I stayed up far too late last night and my brain has gone all mushy. What I do recall is that this place looked great. They grill the burgers vertically in cookers that originated in the 1800s. Brilliant! The place looked more like a bar and, if you asked for ketchup on your burger, you will find yourself being thrown out on your ear just like in a pub. I think I need a trip there.

Of course, Heston didn’t go their just for a laugh, but rather, to pick up some tips. Naturally, when making a programme about burgers, you need a trip to the famous golden arches of McDonald’s. What was most refreshing about Heston’s chomping on a Big Mac was his lack of snobbery. Most chefs would have recoiled and spat, piping on about how revolting the whole experience was. Not Heston. He’s a man of the people. He took a big chunk out and then said “you can’t say it’s disgusting, ’cause it isn’t… it must be 12 years since I had one of these”. Good man. Didn’t build it up, didn’t knock it down.

So with all this, Blumenthal started to think about what makes the perfect burger. Instead of giving simple advice that we (the viewer) could use, Heston sidesteps that in order to make a show about food as opposed to a programme showing us how to cook. You can’t have a go at him for it. I supposed it’s a bit like watching Top Gear or something. You can’t afford to buy a Ferrari, but you like seeing what goes on inside one. So without the advice, Blumenthal can concentrate on his idea of perfection and having a laugh with his mates. One gets the impression that he knows that his show makes ridiculous and unattainable food… so he has a giggle.

The science applied by Blumenthal borders on preposterous (in an endearing way). Before we’ve even seen him cooking, he’s working out how to aligned the fibres of the three different kinds of beef in his burger so that, when cooked, it will make the bite more pleasurable. His slice of cheese provided much laughing in my head. Did he go for a posh cheese? Well, Blumenthal opted for some Comté cheese which included a dash of garlic, thyme and peppercorn-infused sherry. Oh, and add to the mix, a chemical that is used to cure cystitis. Lightly toasted white bread, gerkins, pickle, mustard and a slice of tomato with a concentrated tomato pulp serving as a killer ketchup. One bite at the close, and you could see Blumenthal actually tremble with joy. “And that’s my idea of a perfect burger” he sighs. I bet it bloody is. Now make me one.