Yessir. It’s back. TVs cruelest show Dragon’s Den (BBC Two, Monday, 9pm) is here to allow us, the scoffing public, to openly titter at nervous people getting shouted at for trying to make something of themselves whilst we all join in with ridiculing their every move. It’s like the American Dream only in reverse.

The RT tells me that Monday’s show features a David Beckham lookalike who wants a stupid amount of money to launch a stable of celebrity impersonators… and look! He’s only gone and brought a Will Smith and a Johnny Depp along for support! Jesus. I’m already ridiculing. It doesn’t start until Monday. My gentle ribbing doesn’t match the horrendous reality of seeing a man get his dreams dismantled and shat on in a dark loft. So that’s something. Another something is the addition of a new Dragon. Will I finally get my wish for a real fire breathing dragon?

Sadly, my dreams remain unfulfilled as the new Dragon comes in place of the now AWOL Richard Farleigh. You may remember Mr Farleigh as the one who looks just like Nicholas Hammond who played Spiderman in the seventies (click here to see… he really does!). What with him being quite nice (well, as nice as a soulless money grabbing business shark can be) he’s seemingly been sent out to TV pasture along with other casualties from the Dragon’s Den (most notably, Rachel Elnaugh who appeared in earlier series’). So who replaces Spidy?

Well, joining the joyless suits is a certain James Caan. You may remember Caan from films such as Rollerball, Hide in Plain Sight and or course, he was the mean mobster Sonny Corleone in The Godfather. Sadly, this is another James Caan. Even sadder, we won’t get to see Peter Jones hooting at a would-be entrepreneur whilst ‘Sonny’ leaps up shouting “You wan’ me to stick the f*ckin’ screws on this punk?” Nope, this Caan is a business man. Surprise surprise. He’s probably rich and aloof.