There’s a website where people share their earliest memory which each other. One memory lovingly reads “drinking warm milk by African violets, watching the Seattle rain fall” whilst another reads “standing outside in the sunlight with my family after planting three pine trees, one for each of us children…”. It’s all very touching. My earliest memory is being in my cot, staring up at my mobile and laughing at the music it made. If you asked Chanelle from Big Brother 8, she’d answer ‘getting a boob job’.

Chanelle is considering having a boob job so she can become a Page 3 model. She told the Daily Star: “I’ve never thought about going on Page 3 because I didn’t think my boobs were big enough… but you never know, that might change when I get them done!” About implants, the BB8 reject stated “I’ve dreamed about it for most of my life but never really had the guts or the money to go through with it and now there are experts out there who actually want to do it for free. I can’t believe it. I have wanted to have a boob job ever since I can remember.” TV is breeding some morons at the moment… can we have a rest from them please?