For a start, there are so few images of Charlie Brooker on the web that I'm resorting to a cartoon he drew of himself for his Screen Burn column in The Guardian. Still, don't let that detract from the fact that his TV show, Screen Wipe (BBC4, Tuesday, 10pm) is probably the best thing on the box at the moment (and if that moment only includes the half hour from 10pm 'til 10.30pm on a Tuesday night then so be it).

Screen Wipe, for those of you who haven't seen it (there really is no excuse for it... I've been banging on about it for the best part of a year now) is a look at TV wrongs through the unswerving eye of Brooker. He deconstructs the box, peers in, yells at the plasma/cathode tube tells it to grow up before slumping in his armchair and wondering where everything went so horribly wrong. Yep. If I could have his job, I'd kill him for it.

If you need a reason to keep BBC4 alive, then Screen Wipe is it. I'd happily let my TV license money go on a wage for Brooker to sit in front of the box with a fixed camera on him while he sighs and hurrumphs for 24 hours of the day. If this happened, I could sit down the pub with my mates and chuckle about the time he accidently cried at a Martin Bashir interview or something.

Still, as that isn't going to happen, I'll have to make do with his weekly installments. Last night, Brooker attacked the latest hot potato which is TV IS TELLING YOU LIES. Of course, because that previous sentence is in blue, it should tell you that I've already dipped my toe into this subject. Essentially, we all should know that the TV tells lies. Brooker gleefully pointed out that it's done it for years... so stop your moaning.

Of course, when TV is robbing the very pennies from your pocket, that's no fun at all. However, I have never voted on a TV show and nor have I ever entered a TV competition. Why? Well, that's because I have never trusted anyone in media. You might say it's your own fault. I don't bleat on about the time I thought I was ringing Roland Rat up from the number given on the side of some rat shaped tinned pasta.

Where were we? Oh yes, I was reviewing a TV show. Basically, Brooker dissects TV shows like no other. It's simultaneously thrilling and annoying to watch him on a personal level. Whilst I enjoy his rants about Heroes, it also serves as a reminder that he's at the top of the tree that I'm shinning precariously up. Shamefully, I've sent Charlie Brooker no less than 30 emails in my life, and not once have I had a reply. It's clear who the bitch in this non existent relationship is.

Basically, if you want to watch a show which confirms everything you think about the telly... but in a more succinct way, Screen Wipe is the show for you. It's brilliant, it's funny, it's cruel, it's angry... it's everything you could want and expect from someone who clearly gives a shit. [Mof Gimmers]