Now that he’s hung up his apron and left Hell’s Kitchen, how does celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay stay in the limelight while the show enjoys a new host? By telling the world about his burnt bollocks – that’s how (it seems so obvious now I’ve pointed it out, doesn’t it?) I’ll hand over to Gordon for the whole singeing saga: “I burnt my right b*****k and I’m in absolute agony. You wouldn’t believe how much it hurts. The other day I was standing to close to the hob when I was cooking. I was wearing cotton trousers and underneath I was going commando. Then suddenly I felt this searing heat – my balls were burning.”

Really Gordon, much as I enjoy your TV programmes and wouldn’t object if you turned up in my kitchen to whip me up some dinner, did we really have to hear about how you overcooked your meat and two veg? It leaves a bad taste in the mouth, really it does.

[via Digital Spy]