I don’t have satellite TV. Or cable. Or whatever it’s called these days. The only time I ever get to watch it is when I go ’round a mates’ house, and watch the footy. Everytime I watch something else on non-terrestrial TV, I find out that I’m missing very little. With that, my only contact with non-terrestrial shows are through my digibox, and watching TMF, I find that all MTVs cast-offs and repeats end up here. Judging by this channel, MTV is no longer capturing the imagination of ver yoof.

Point in question is the very unsettling Virgin Diaries (TMF, Tuesday, 10pm). This programme revolves around self shot footage of the confessions of a teenage yet to cherry pop. Acne riddled faces contort in frustration as they pine about ‘waiting for the right person’ and ‘missed opportunities’. Fair enough, some people want to wait whilst others simply don’t get the chance. Even though these programmes are made with “the full consent” of the teens’ families, don’t you think that stuff like this is a bit… well… private?

Last night, I watched two episodes of this show (as they were broadcast back-to-back) and felt uneasy as kids of 16 and 17 told me about the pressure of sex. It’s all ‘my mates have already done it and it is driving me mad that I haven’t’. This sentiment is both odd to watch and, perhaps more importantly, quite dull. I mean, it’s hardly news that teenagers are obsessed with sex. In fairness, that sentiment doesn’t change when you get older.

This show has naturally felt the heat from the press already. The Daily Mail referred to it as taking “bad taste to a new low”. Now, as uneasy as I felt watching this, I wouldn’t have gone that far. Teenagers have sex and are far more sexually liberated than my generation… and more-so than my folks generation before me (and they grew up in the sixties). That said, it doesn’t take an amazing mind to work out that, even though modern teens are more sexually aware, the same old hang-ups still exist.

Presumably, that is the main reason for this show and its existence. However, there is an irony in this which cannot be glossed over. MTV are trying to show that they have a conscience in such matters, even though, by and large, they are responsible for the amount of sex a teen sees (discounting the ‘net of course). In an age when teens eyes are filled with images of gyrating RnB warblers in thongs, or worse still, shirtless rappers being pawed at by their bitchez, it seems a bit silly that MTV should now be offering some kind of sympathetic platform for troubled teens.

This being an MTV production, the show has to be titillating and modern looking. This means video diaries are interspersed with shot of dancing girls in clubs and Super 8 styled stills of our would-be bonkers getting off with people.The two episodes I saw left both participants without sex. As frustrating as that must be, I have to say that it’s their own stupid fault. Imagine the scenario. You meet a nice member of the opposite sex. You go on a date and MTV film you. All is good in tha hood. Then, you think to yourself “I wouldn’t mind sexing this person…” Then you remind yourself that, if you do, the whole world will know about it as MTV are broadcasting the video diary of the person you’re getting off with. Indeed, what will mum say? This show is a silly, pointless, wretched dish that is best served a thousand feet away. [Mof Gimmers]