This week’s show started with a ticking off from Judge Len Goodman. Apparently this year’s competitors are averaging 13 hours training per week, whereas last year’s averaged 19 hours. Len says those six hours are the difference between good and great dancing and if he doesn’t see great dancing from the couples this week, his disappointment will be reflected in his marks. Yikes.

My favourite, Laila Ali, was out first dancing the Paso Doble and I loved it. It wasn’t the most dramatic Paso I’ve ever seen – Len said there wasn’t any fire, aggression or attack – but I just love to watch her dance.

This week’s other dance was the Waltz and Apolo Anton Ohno was the first up. Oh my god, it was incredible. The Waltz isn’t the most exciting dance, but that was the most exciting Waltz I’ve ever seen. It was beautiful: technically great, passionate, romantic and it told a story. It made me cry. It was gorgeous. Judges Bruno Tonioni and Carrie Ann Inaba were blown away (giving them two 9s), but Len wasn’t – he didn’t think it was polished enough and gave them an 8.

Leeza Gibbons was in the bottom two last week and should have gone (a travesty!). I wasn’t confident she would be able to do a convincing Paso and I was right – she barely danced. Like I said last week, she’s got to go this week. (The judges agreed with me – not that she had to go, but that she was rubbish.)

Ian Ziering’s Waltz was lovely, but it wasn’t very Waltzy. It was flashy, dramatic and over the top, but they were barely in hold and I would have liked a bit more romance and a bit less glitz.

John Ratzenberger danced the Paso Doble to It’s A Kind of Magic, which isn’t dramatic enough for a Paso and it was disappointing. Like Leeza, he didn’t do a huge amount of and what he did was a bit laboured.

The Waltz certainly suited Clyde Drexler more than the Paso would have done and it was probably his best dance, but he didn’t even seem like he was trying, which Len said was unforgiveable. And then Clyde slagged the judges off, which always annoys me – they’re the experts, you should be listening to them, not criticising them! And then, oh dear, Len scored him a 4.

Billy Ray Cyrus’s partner, Karina, actually cried in training because she was so frustrated with his, um, skills. He’s certainly no dancer, but their Paso was really great. Dramatic, thrilling, and it told a good story. Carrie Ann said it was oddly awkward, sexy, hot and strange at once and she loved it. I loved it too.

Heather Mills’ Waltz was disappointing. Apparently she found it challenging, both balance-wise and emotion-wise (she struggled with the intimacy of it). There were some beautiful parts to it, but it didn’t move me though, in fact it left me cold.

Despite not enjoying his Star Wars Tango last week, Joey Fatone was still the dancer I was most looking forward to this week. Like Billy Ray’s, his Paso was dramatic and exciting. “Best Paso of the night by miles,” Len said and it was. Joey manages to combine great dancing with humour and fun and they got the highest score of the series so far: 28 (which included a 10 from Carrie Ann).

Again, tons of flannel before the results – has anyone at the BBC actually watched this? What’s the point of showing a reprise of the best performance (this week it was Joey and Kim’s) five minutes after it’s actually been performed?

Leeza and John were in the bottom two and Leeza went out. Hey, that’s what I said I wanted last week. I put it out into the universe and it happened (can you tell I’ve been reading The Secret?). So next week, universe, I think Clyde’s time should be up. Thank you.

Dancing With the Stars, BBC1, Sunday 19 August, 3.50pm

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