Flicking through the pages of Radio Times this week you might be forgiven for thinking that sooner or later you’ll come across a programme called something like “I can’t believe it’s not a cookery programme.” No fewer than three new such shows are starting up over the next 7 days and ubiquitous cockney urchin Jamie Oliver is, of course, one of them. But worry not, Oliver’s not about to browbeat you with a turkey twizzler. No, he’s turned his back on all of that and is going home. Literally home, to his back garden, to grow some greens and show us all how to cook them. As you might guess, when Oliver’s about there’s more to it than simply chopping them up and boiling them in a bit of water.

Jump over the click for news of the other two shows and also a Friday bonus.

Jumping shameless on the Indian food bandwagon following the runaway success of Indian Food Made Easy, Gary Rhodes takes a more energetic approach and sets off to travel the entire subcontinent in search of the perfect poppadum, not to mention the spicy lamb stew cooked with apricots and crispy straw potatoes (just a minute, I’m going to have to stop typing while I wipe my keyboard down). So if you’re into cooking with 10-20 spices per dish rather than a simple tin of curry powder, this may well be the show you’ve been looking for – with a bit of travel thrown into the mix for added flavour.

Finally, Rick Stein’s also on his jollies. A little closer to home than Rhodes (in both senses) – Stein is off around the Mediterranean. From Corsica to Mallorca, Sardinia to Corfu, he’ll be discovering just why there’s so much oil in everything and what exactly can you do with that length of sobrassada?

Of course no article on celebrity TV chefs can be considered complete without reference to the two funniest incidents of TV cookery:

1. The time when…
Brian Johnston appeared on Ready Steady Cook and a fawning Ainsley Harriot begged to be allowed to call him “Johnners”
“Yes, alright,” says Brian, “and I can call you Ainers.”

2. Way back in TV history…
When Fanny Craddock was on Nationwide demonstrating the gentle art of making doughnuts and Frank Bough remarked “…and I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny’s” (probably apocryphal but none the less funny for all that).

Rhodes Across India: UKTV Food, Monday 6 August, 9pm
Jamie At Home: C4, Tuesday 7 August, 8pm (for 12 weeks)
Rick Stein’s Mediterranean Escapes: BBC Two, Wednesday 8 and Thursday 9 August, 8pm (6 programmes)