I bet you’ve been dying to hear all about the other Dancing With the Stars contestants, haven’t you? Well, the wait is over!

Boxing World Champion Laila Ali
Yes, Laila Ali is Muhammed Ali’s daughter. She’s also, in case you didn’t know, a professional boxer, retaining her WBC and WIBA super middleweight world titles in February this year. I also happen to know she just got married. And she’s fabulous.

Actor and author John Ratzenberger
Cliff from Cheers! Who doesn’t love Cliff from Cheers? And the pig from Toy Story! Who doesn’t love the pig from Toy Story? Plus he seems like a nice man and we all know he’s going nowhere in the show, being both the oldest and the heaviest. Random fact that I found on Wikipedia, so must be true: Ratzenberger has developed packaging alternatives made from biodegradable and non-toxic recycled paper as a safe alternative to Styrofoam “peanuts” and plastic bubble wrap. Go Cliff!

Miss USA 2004 Shandi (Shandi!) Finnessey
She was Miss Missouri twice and then Miss USA. She’s also written a children’s book, co-hosted a game show, and helped to achieve world peace. Oh no, sorry, I made that up. She’s got a degree in psychology and I can’t find anything else out without risking Dancing with the Stars spoilers, so that’ll have to do you.

“NBA Hall of Famer” Clyde Drexler
Named one of baseball’s 50 greatest players of all time by the NBA, Clyde is really, really tall. I know nothing about baseball. I mean, basketball. He’s now a commentator.

“Charity Campaigner” Heather Mills
You’ve probably never heard of publicity shy Heather Mills. She’s got an artificial limb, but she doesn’t like to talk about it. She used to be married to Paul (The Beatles) McCartney, but she’s not anymore. She may have done a lot of good work for charity, but no-one really cares because she tends to grate on the nerves a bit. I once saw her (along with her husband and child) in New York. She didn’t say hello.

Olympic Gold medallist Apolo Anton Ohno
Apolo Ohno is going on the list of my favourite names of all time (along with Penn out of Penn & Teller’s daughter’s name: Moxie CrimeFighter Jillettte). Ohno! (he really should add the exclamation mark) is an American short track speed skating competitor and a two-time gold medalist in the Winter Olympics. His professional career’s still going strong and yet he chose to appear on Dancing With The Stars. Fancy that!

Who’s who on Dancing With the Stars? Part 1