I had a very peculiar and frankly quite creepy English teacher at school, but with one short assembly speech he achieved the respect of the whole place. I’m sure you might be wondering where this ramble is heading and wait no longer. It turned out that the pervy beanpole who taught me the difference between a simile and a metaphor had formerly been a contestant on University Challenge during his youth. The assembled throng of 800 plus girls listened begrudgingly impressed, all knowing that only the specciest of boffins could achieve such illustrious heights of academic glory. And so last night, we were introduced to more such brain boxes ready to thrash it out nerd-style under the watchful eye of Jeremy Paxman.

The new series kicked off with Nottingham versus Lancaster, and soon we met the wide-eyed hopefuls representing their institutions with pride. Here’s how the teams lined up.

Nottingham (all male – boo hiss!)
Fullarton – studying Classics. Trendy bed hair that probably took him ages to perfect. Came into his own during a round on rugby positions.
Alvey – studying History. Very impressive with an amazing knowledge of geography. Was very smiley, a refreshing change to the perplexed frowning that often dominates.
Evans (captain) – studying Philosophy. Good general knowledge, seemed to really value and listen to his team.
Jarvis – studying for a PhD in Genetics. Sported a very calm half smile throughout, as though somewhere else. A token mature student with facial hair to prove it.

Lancaster (equality amongst the sexes – how very Wimbledon of them!)
Hollowell – studying History. Her back must have hurt afterwards as she spent the entire programme leaning into her team-mate Parker to best participate.
Parker – studying History. Officially cramped from accommodating Hollowell.
Fanshawe (captain) – studying for a PhD in Statistics. A pursed and drawn face throughout – he meant business.
Goodman – studying Maths. Really didn’t do much, sorry to say.

Lancaster took a strong lead, leaving Nottingham very much lagging behind. After about ten minutes it looked like it could be a very easy victory for Lancaster with Fanshawe on strong form. This reversed dramatically as between them Alvey and Evans began to hit their stride. In contrast to his earnest looking counterpart, the Lancaster captain clearly enjoyed every minute of the contest and he galvanized his team to push on. They scored over 100 points in a row and soon it was Lancaster that looked out of it.

But unlike many other UC rounds, this was far from a one horse race. Lancaster led only to fall behind Nottingham and yet they were not out. A late surge saw them draw closer, but many of the final starter for tens went the way of Nottingham, allowing them the comfort of a further 3 questions uninterrupted. The scores ended with Lancaster losing on 185 to Nottingham on 240.

Paxman was confident that with such a high score Lancaster could well return as a highest scoring losing team, but they will have to wait on how other scores in the series develop. This softened the blow of losing somewhat but shouldn’t diminish the excellent work of Nottingham, who clawed themselves back into the competition after a disappointing start. My personal highlight however came with a question based on the opening title sequence for Desperate Housewives. I doubt my English teacher would have gotten that one right!