She's an idiot. A mean spirited, joyless, horrendous, moronic, life-sapping bully who deserves to be verbally slapped down at every single opportunity. Of course I'm talking about Gillian McKeith, star of last night's horrend-o-gramme 3 Fat Brides, 1 Thin Dress (Channel 4, Tuesday, 8pm). You may well be thinking that I was a bit heavy handed in my opening paragraph, laying into the frail weight fascist. You're wrong. You see, you reap what you sow in this game and I'm offering McKeith the same pleasure she gives to the participants of her shows.

Last night, the 3 brides were all filmed doing a variety of things. One was wine testing, another trying a dress on or something... I can't really remember because it's irrelevant. What is relevant is that without so much of a cheery hello, Gillian burst through doors (at the start of the show) and started prodding guts and calling people 'disgusting' and 'whale sized'. If it's alright for McKeith to do it...

McKeith's cheek is grotesque and misguided. At no point in her shows do you get the impression that she wants to help anyone. The only thing she is serving is spinach soup in shot glasses and a self satisfying stroke of the ego. The (admittedly overweight) people in her show are just vehicles for McKeith's self serving. With every tear that falls, McKeith grows a little more cocky.

Of course, she offers reasonably good advice. Want to lose some weight? Stop eating cakes and kebabs. Obviously, we all know that and not one of us would pretend to be a doctor just to give ourselves the chance of spouting common sense like it's a revelation. We don't live in the twisted wrongs of McKeithWorld.

In McKeithWorld, everyone is wrong. You can't drink, smoke, eat, sit or smile. Unless of course you're doing something that is deemed good for you. I would rather die obese and clogged up than free my guts in a leotard whilst McKeith prances around in a tutu beside me. Yes folks, this actually happened last night as Gillian danced and hopped like some hideous cackling animatronic sci-fi puppet from a show based in Hades.

I am always quite happy to stick the boot in on Gillian. Who isn't? Why? Probably because McKeith shows so little regard for the rest of humankind. Let's put it this way; If I went up to someone who was overweight... someone asking for help... I don't think I'd walk up to them, called them a 'blob', and then make them throw all their favourite food into a freshly dug grave. If I did, I would expect a very real and very sore arse kicking. Just because McKeith is a TV 'personality' shouldn't mean she gets away with it.

I like abusing TV folk. I really do. I get a kick out of it. That said, I always think there is a line... I line I only seem to cross for this swine minded git. Think of it as offering a bit of balance. Despite her 'results' and fondness for poking around human dung, overweight people usually have massive self esteem issues which makes them an easy target. McKeith exploits this and bullies them needlessly. They've already asked for help, so why ram it down their throats? I liken it to this: I could quite easily write an article about how ugly and hunchbacked Gillian McKeith is. However, being a (sometimes) reasonable person, I prefer to point out her awfulness in other ways. Cracking walnuts with steam-rollers is one thing, picking on confidence needy people is quite another. [Mof Gimmers]