Mary Portas is someone I've never heard of in all my days. To be honest, I don't care who she is. She's on the box telling me about something and thus, I'm inclined to believe that she knows what she's talking about. I've taken this approach with people like Victoria Stilwell and Gok Wan, and only formed an opinion after they've finished talking. So what does Mary Portas know about?

Well, in Mary, Queen of Shops (BBC2, Thursday, 9pm) we're told that Portas is a 'retail guru'. Now, to me, that is a nothing sentence... but no matter... I'll bear with her. Basically, Portas is on a mission to keep Britain's small shopkeepers in business by sharing the tricks of the trade with struggling boutiques (for the record, I love the word boutique). So can she do it?

In short, yes. Portas turned up at a shop called One One Seven, a Surrey boutique owned by a lady called Diane Lazzaris. Now, One One Seven recently made an annual loss of £100,000. That's not a figure to be sniffed at. Portas waves her magic wand and everything gets back on track. How did she do it? Well she took her to some shops that did it right and copied them. Pretty much standard fodder for a fly-on-the-wall thing like this. Portas knows what she's doing, de-cluttered the shop and made them lots of money. So good so far.

It's not the content of this show which is infuriating. It's the presentation. Aside from all the sagely advice, you have shot after shot after shot after shot that aches with a need to feel cool and edgy. I've no idea (and no intention of finding out) if this show is made by the same folks who give us The Apprentice, but the sweeping wobbly camera work just cries out "Look! I'm gritty! I'm real! But I'm stylish and bleeding edge too!"

One section particularly stuck in my craw. Portas, perched legs akimbo on a desk, prattles on about something or other in a very very very serious voice. All the while, she transfixes her gaze on something off camera. It's either the producer or a mirror (my viewing partner thinks it's the latter for the record) which enabled her to stay focused whilst the camera man filmed her whilst on walkies around the room. It's ever so modern!

I'm not entirely sure what this kind of camera work is supposed to achieve. I mean, are we to feel like we're in the room with her? If that's the case, then I felt like I was pacing around this cold office while Mary ignored me. Naturally, this doesn't make for welcoming TV. In fact, if it wanted to really represent me, the camera would have had a half closed lid on it, and occasionally stared out of window looking at the passing traffic... but that's just me. Meetings don't agree with me.

Anyway. Back to the show. Apart from annoying camera work and Mary Portas needing to lighten up a bit, the show is okay. It's not going to change your world and hell, it might not even keep your full attention for its duration, but it ain't so bad and worth watching if there is nothing else on. Granted, that's hardly the greatest recommendation to offer, but it's better than the kickings I usually dole out. [Mof Gimmers]