Quite why it’s taken me so long to do a review of Celebrity Masterchef (BBC1, 7pm, Weekdays) escapes me. It’s a show that I’ve tried to keep up with to plot the successes of various B-listers. Normally, the word ‘celebrity’ drives me insane when used as a listings trout tickler, but in this case, I don’t seem to mind one bit. I would usually baulk at the choice of celebrities (as usually they’re not all that famous) but in this version of Masterchef, I’m not really fussed about the personality, I’m more concerned with what they can do.

Hosting the show is chef and restaurateur John Torode and food writer Greg Wallace. The pair make for a gruesome image and take themselves incredible seriously. Their search for the country’s top celebrity chef sometimes borders on obsessive. I wonder if they have a lot of time on their hands.

I really must emphasise just how serious Torode and Wallace are. Faced with almost any situation, including mildly amusing anecdotes, they sternly look on and spout grave words that underline the importance of the show. On yesterdays show, Phil Tufnell (former cricketer and reality TV participant) comically fell over when told how good he was at the old cookery. Flailing around on the floor (and seemingly trying to avoid swearing) Torode bellowed “you could be a great cook!”. Not a smile in sight.

Now, I like people who are passionate about things. I really do. I think that passionate people make the world go ’round. However, I like people. People who are warm and engaging. Wallace and Torode (who, for some reason I keep thinking of as John Tirade) seem like the last people you’d want to invite to a dinner party. You might ask them how they are, and they’d probably start yelling about the state of fish farms and organic produce before they’d even said hello. Then they’d get started on your cooking; “Mof! Just a little more seasoning and this could be edible…” [Mof Gimmers]