How do you pitch an idea like Tycoon? (ITV1, Tuesday, 9pm) The RadioTimes dubs the show a "series following tycoon Peter Jones as he invests his own money into the projects of six aspiring business people, who have just ten weeks to prove themselves." Sound familiar? I'll ask again, how do you pitch this show?

I can see the marketing bods behind it. "Yeah, we've got Peter Jones on board from Dragon's Den. He's got highlights in his hair now and looks pretty darned hip I can tell you... anyway he's well up for doing Tycoon. What's that? No. No no no... this is nothing like The Apprentice... why? Well... it's got Peter Jones from Dragon's Den in it instead of Alan Sug... I know... I know... but honestly... it's nothing like The Apprentice at all. Our catchphrase is "You're shit" not "You're fired". Honestly... it'll be a ratings smash!" ITV? P45 is in the post.