Let TVScoop pick out the best (and worst) from the weekend listings to save you from a weekend of dire TV.

Friday – Derren Brown: Trick or Treat, Channel 4, 10pm

Derren Brown is brilliant. Not only can he juggle your brain and play conkers with your mind, but he’s also amazingly cruel. For too long, magic shows have had a whiff of variety about them. David Blaine tried to make it cool, but instead, ended up looking like a pretentious git. Derren Brown came along, duped us all with tales of sheep in jars and proceeded to stun us all with an array of wonderful and sinister tricks. Last week, he scared some bloke half to death before making him go mad and letting him loose around London with scary clown make-up and a blond wig. This week, he’ll probably convince someone they’re dead or something. Essential.

Saturday – Match of the Day Live: FA Cup Final, BBC1, 12.40pm

There is only one thing you must see on Saturday. That’s the first FA Cup final at the new Wembley stadium. Football has, in effect, come home, and the best two teams in the country will kick lumps out of each other in the hope to get their paws on the best cup in the universe. Manchester United are looking for a double while Chelsea just hope to win something at all. The FA Cup final is always a special day, drawing in neutrals, much like the Grand National and Wimbledon. It’s a must see, and hopefully, we’ll all get a cracking game.

Sunday – The Wicker Man, ITV4, 10pm

As already preview in John’s If You Only Watch One Film..., The Wicker Man is one of the finest moments in British cinema. A chilling tale of pagan ritual features incredible performances from the mighty Christopher Lee and and powerful and convincing turn from Edward Woodward as a repressed Catholic police sergeant. If you haven’t seen this film, you cannot miss this wonderful slice of Brit horror… if you have, you’ll know how good it is and will want to watch it all over again. Great soundtrack too…

One To Avoid – White Chicks, Sunday, Five, 9pm.

Ho ho! Two disgraced (black) FBI officers go undercover as socialite white girls to make massive racist generalizations in the name of comedy! Shoot me. Now.