This week’s show was shortened thanks to Eurovision. The final seven opened the show with One More Angel In Heaven from, yes, Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. May I take a moment to tell you what I did on Friday night? Well, I went to the Blackpool Grand to see, yes, Joseph. And it was … not very good, but it served as a reminder of the demands of the show and I have to say, I couldn’t really see Rob, Daniel or Lewis in the role. As I watched it, lamenting that the guy playing Joseph was really annoying, I kept seeing … Keith. Yes, Keith.

Rob the Builder sang Born to Run and he gave it loads. In fact, he gave it too much. I found it a bit embarrassing and it was more of a first week performance for me. Judge John Barrowman thought Rob was confident and controlled and entertained the crowd, but he wasn’t convinced. Denise van Outen was though, saying he could be Joseph.

Lovely Daniel sang Maggie May and I despair of the advice he’s been given during the week. Last week they said they wanted to see his naughty side. With Maggie May? The face he pulled made him look like a velociraptor. Again, too much. To be fair, I’ve never noticed the lyrics to Maggie May the way Rod Stewart sings it, but Daniel got them across and there’s something to be said for that, but still, I didn’t enjoy it at all. John, though, thought it was spectacular and “on the spot”. Denise loved Daniel’s performance too, saying it was well-acted. Andrew Lloyd Webber said it was the best he’d ever heard Maggie May.

Lewis sang I’m A Believer. It was a good performance – the second half much better than the first – but I didn’t believe he was in love. I think he might be too young for Joseph yet. After Lewis announced he hasn’t “trumped” so much since he’s been in the competition (?), Bill Kenwright said he was great and could be a great Joseph.

Lee, looking absolutely stunning, sang Leave Right Now. His voice still sounded a bit strained to me, but the acting was great. See, Joseph has to go from being young and innocent to powerful and charismatic and on the way he has to attract Potiphar’s wife. Lee’s the only one, I think, who could do innocent, cocky, strong, confident and sexy. It’s got to be Lee. Bill said Lee was everything he’s looking for and that he interprets a song as good as anyone he has ever seen. Vocal Coach Zoe Tyler also thought Lee was phenomenal.

Craig performed This Is the Moment (from the musical, Jekyll & Hyde) and it was absolutely buggering fantastic. It made me cry and it whizzed on every last one of his previous performance. And the great thing about it was that he looked as if he was still holding something back. I’ve never been a fan of his at all, but if that’s an indication of what he’s been hiding, he could really be amazing. Zoe thought it was great and John said his performance brought tears to the judges’ eyes (which made Craig cry too). Andrew said it was phenomenal.

Last week Andrew said he might have made the wrong choice saving Ben, which news caused Ben to say, “I don’t think he knows what he’s talking about.” Andrew Lloyd Webber! Where does an 18-year-old get off saying Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn’t know what he’s talking about? It beggars belief, it really does. Ben’s performance of Tom Jones’ Help Yourself was mega-camp, but it was also his best performance so far. His voice still isn’t great, but I can actually see him as Joseph. The cocky git.

Denise thought Ben had a touch of Robbie Williams about his performance. Bill said the line between confidence and over-confidence is tiny, but that if Ben watches it he could be going places. Do you know, I never thought I’d say this, but I do like Andrew Lloyd Webber. When asked for his comments on Ben he said, “Well, ignore anything I say because I don’t know what I’m talking about. Ignore the fact that I thought it was your best performance to date,” causing Ben to mouth an apology.

To show that Keith wasn’t just a wide-eyed boy, they, um, brushed his hair to one side and made him sing Always On My Mind. And it was completely fabulous. He gets better each week. His voice was gorgeous and his acting was amazing too. I’ve heard that song so many times that it’s hard to maintain interest, but he made me really feel the lyrics. Bill said Keith became both a man and a star. Denise said that, while Keith moved her, she’s concerned that he doesn’t have the right look for Joseph.

The week’s mission was an acting masterclass with John. He had the boys show betrayal, vulnerability, courage and arrogance and it was hilarious. They told each other what they thought of each other and Keith cried his eyes out. Brilliant.

And then it was time for the sing-off, which came with the best joke of the series: “Like Jade Goody’s address book,” Graham Norton said, “no-one wants to be in it.” Much as I love Daniel, I thought he and Rob should probably have been in the bottom two. The panel agreed with me with three votes for Rob and one (Zoe’s) for Daniel.

As it turned out, it was actually Rob and Lewis, which I wasn’t all that surprised about. Lewis did give a good account of himself, but on a night of very good performances it didn’t really stand out. If it had been down to viewers’ votes alone Rob would have gone home. I expected Rob to go home anyway, because I suspected Andrew would save Lewis.

The sing-off song was Tell Me It’s Not True from Blood Brothers. Lewis fluffed one of the lyrics and then went out of tune a couple of times, but his performance was still better than Rob’s, I thought. He’s just much more “musical theatre,” darling. Denise was crying again (mascara all down her face, bless her heart). I was right and Andrew did save Lewis.

And then it was … time to hand back the coat – hurrah! Sadly, Rob’s final performance only underlined the fact that he’s not meant for Joseph. I would quite like to speak to him about a kitchen extension though…

Any Dream Will Do: Saturday 19th May at 8.10pm and 10pm on BBC1

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