Week two of The Apprentice – aka: pooches and pouches and nappies, oh my! Yes, this week’s dog-themed challenge was (sorry, I have to say it) barking mad.

Day one started at daybreak, with Surallen meeting the teams at the London Eye, to show them an example of clever design (the Eye). He then told them they’d have to design not an iconic structure of the new millennium, but something for dog lovers, who spend £500 million a year on their beloved pets. Or as Allan put it; "something innovative that these nutters will buy", for £29.99 apiece.

Katy and Rory were chosen/chose themselves as leaders of Stealth and Eclipse respectively and took off with their teams for brainstorming sessions. Coming up with an idea was the most challenging part of this task, and the men bickered like little children in the playground. Team leader Rory seemed to think he was a headmaster from the 1950s. "Discipline is something I go f****** crazy for," he said. He then asked "could you please stop swearing?" before ordering everyone to take off their jackets and brainstorm. Meanwhile things were just as surreal at Stealth HQ, as the women began sharing their ideas, or as Katy called it, "ideation". Ideas for dog nappies(!) and dog-operated fans were thankfully quickly dismissed before they settled on the idea of a dog bag. No, not a bag to keep your dog in – a bag for your dog to wear… 

The men (and Jadine) meanwhile, had a whole host of ideas, and began presenting them to Rory, who quickly overrode them with his own design: the Pooch Pouch, an across-the-body strap to wear whilst walking a dog, with space for treats, poop bags, balls, leads etc. His team, especially an apoplectic Tre, were unconvinced both by his management style and his design. He suggested his team ‘in the field’ take both the pouch and their own dog blanket idea to a focus group, who unanimously hated the pouch – but the results came in too late and he went ahead with it anyway.

The women, thank goodness, did change their idea – from the dog rucksack (do you really want to trust your dog with your BlackBerry and iPod?) to a doggy wardrobe, a cute little cabinet with space for leads, coats, bowls and treats.

Once a design company made up the prototypes, it was time to try to sell their big ideas to three retailers: Pets and the City, an exclusive canine boutique; Pets at Home, a huge chain store… and Harrods. Giselle of Stealth froze in the Pets at Home presentation and the other two shops accused their product of being cheap and nasty. The men, meanwhile were criticised far and wide for a product that was unfashionable, unstylish and expensive. You just can’t win with some people! But of course, one team would win. Which one?

The men received orders worth a total of £565 from Harrods and Pets and the City combined, while the women got £0 from both. But! It all rested on Pets at Home, and they ordered £5000 worth of dog wardrobes from the ladies… and not one thing from the men (and Jadine). The girls done good! They got Dinner at the Dorchester to celebrate, while the men got a trip to the boardroom, with Rory taking Tre and Ifti back in for the final round with Surallen. Turns out Ifti has a design background (as does Rory) but had chosen not to say anything about it. He admitted his heart wasn’t in the show anymore as he missed his wife and son too much. He clearly would have left voluntarily but of course Alan had to point his finger and say those magic words: "you’re fired!"

Tre and Rory heaved a sigh of relief for about two seconds before being informed that one of them was STILL going to go, ohhh yes. Shocking! (Only not really that shocking because the gloriously comb-overed Donald Trump did the same thing yonks ago in the US version of the show. But if you hadn’t seen that, then shocking!) The boys bickered about how rubbish and dictatorial Rory was, and how disruptive and unhelpful Tre is. In the end though, it was Rory who made the big (bad) decisions, and he was sent home with a flea in his ear. [Diane Shipley]

The Apprentice week 1

The official Apprentice website.