I know absolutely nothing about cars. Nothing. I can drive, after a fashion, and I like cars that look nice and friendly (not those with squinty headlights that make them look like they're growling at you) but apart from that I'm afraid I'm pretty much a walking stereotype.

But, like millions of others, this does not mean that I don't watch and thoroughly enjoy Top Gear (BBC2 8pm Sundays). In fact, my memories of Sunday at university will always be associated with sitting down with the rest of my all-female housemates to watch it. (At one point there was a clash with Invasion, one of the oddest shows ever to grace our screens, but we'll gloss over that one). You just have to forget that you don't really like Jeremy Clarkson (and, if you're irrational like Mof, Richard Hammond too) and you've got a really fun show.

This week was better than usual, though, as it consisted of just one big hour-long feature. The premise was that the three presenters - Clarkson, Hammond and James May - would go to Florida, buy a car for under $1000 and try and get to New Orleans where they would flog it for as much as they could get. Simple. Clarkson bought a car famous for being used by murderers, May got a Cadillac, and so received instant cool points though it was in the worst state of repair, and Hammond got a good old American pick-up truck. Then they were off, and it all started out very jolly. One of the great things about Top Gear is the banter - and underlying genuine affection, you get the feeling - between the three presenters, and here there was plenty of opportunity for them to wind each other up, whether by sabotaging May's air conditioning, as the other two didn't have it, or by the running joke of the guys 'accidentally' gently bashing into each other's cars. And to think the show has been accused of promoting irresponsible driving.

The first task was to test the speed of the vehicles over a lap of a racing track (with both right and left-hand corners, unusually for the US) and then their acceleration and breaking, by having to get up to 50mph, and then break to 0mph before driving straight into a crocodile-infested river by the side of the track. May and Clarkson did this relatively easily, but Hammond's truck finished halfway down the bank. While they've vowed never to mention Hammond's crash on Top Gear again, you can be sure that it was in their minds, and that of every viewer, as he hurtled towards the water. There were girly screams a-plenty in my house, and you really have to hand it to the guy just for getting back into a car, let alone putting himself in these situations again. Brave or stupid, I don't know. Near-crocodile maulings aside, this was, as I said, all very jolly, and the guys were clearly having lots of fun.

When they got into Alabama, however, it all turned a little nasty. They were all given paints to decorate each other's cars in ways that would get them either shot or arrested. I'm sure that when the producers came up with this idea, they hadn't counted on it very nearly succeeding. This being the religious, right-wing South, they daubed 'Hillary for President', 'Country and Western Is Rubbish' and, on Hammond's truck, references to Man-Love. Well, they were going for a reaction, and they sure as hell got one. At first it was just the odd beep of a car-horn but eventually they had to stop for fuel, and the lady gas-station owner was not a happy bunny. 'This is a hick town' she said, right up in Hammond's face, 'have you had a bet to see who can get themselves killed?'. The answer, pretty much, was actually yes. She called 'the boys', they threw stones, May conducted the quickest jump-start in history, and the 'boys' gave chase. Manically, all hands took to wiping off the slogans. 'I never thought I'd say this,' said Clarkson, 'but I'm actually running for the border'. Part of me thinks they deserved it - or at least the producers did - as the task was a bit childish and, perhaps, in bad taste. But man it was exciting television.

When they arrived in New Orleans, they were shocked at the total devastation that remained, a year after Hurricane Katrina. Suddenly, selling the cars didn't seem quite right, and so they gave them away. Well, Hammond and Clarkson did - May literally couldn't get rid of his. Not good for a quick getaway, you see. [annawaits]