To any bodybuilders out there, I'm sorry about this article. I ain't gonna say nice things about you... although I bet you've heard it all before. Why am I talking about bodybuilding?

Well, I'm fresh off the back of a documentary called One Life: Bodybuilding Pensioners (BBC1, 10.35pm, Tuesday) and I tell you what, it was one of the oddest things I've ever witnessed. Old men... properly old men... prancing around in thongs covered in spray on tan flexing their muscles.

During the viewing of this show, nothing of great interest was said. I mean, what can you say about 'em? They work out, it can be a strain on a relationship if you keep buggering off every weekend to train or to go to a competition, you need the fire of competition... just like any other sport really. Due to it being a bit dull, I kept drifting off into daydream, and the moment I regained my focus on the TV, and in the minute moment before my brain caught up, I felt like I'd walked into some bizarre sauna full of discarded sausages wrapped in oily ropes. (To be honest, I was tempted to leave my review at that, but I don't want you feeling like you've been short changed, so I'll talk some more... although I imagine the interesting bit of this review has gone).

The most peculiar thing about this past-time is how these old codgers have to battle twice as hard to make sure their muscles don't droop and sag. In fairness to the old chaps, every single one of them was in far better condition than your humble writer. That said, I wouldn't trade my paunch for what they have. Every single muscle and vein is scrutinised by the bodybuilders, and then glazed with fake tan. In fact, it's only just occurred to me that during competition, the strutting and posing old blokes didn't look a million miles away from the chickens in a rotisserie. One old guy was in his eighties and sported a white beard. Coupled with the fake tan, it made him look very very odd. I kept thinking that he was a cross between Steptoe and Dhalsim from Street Fighter 2.

If I'm being serious, you have to admire these men. Most old people are rightly called farts, because they linger around kicking up a stink and generally being a pest. These fellows were all incredible fit and healthy. Even in retirement, they'd regained their competitive edge and spent their free time by keeping shipshape. It's unlikely that I'll be able to run to catch a bus at 60, let alone lift weights and rattle through a hundred press-ups. They still look bloody odd though... [Mof Gimmers]