Look here. Is this the dullest picture ever to accompany one of my articles? I bet you’re thinking that I’m about to go to town on An Island Parish (BBC1, Monday, 8pm) aren’t you? Well, for those of you who have been avoiding it (like I have. Why on earth would I watch a show about a tiny parish on an island unless it was Father Ted?), the show is, or should I say was, an eight part series which followed the gentle ups-and-downs of life in the parish of the Isles of Scilly.

Basically, An Island Parish is part Castaway (the show that first brought Ben Fogle our attention) and part Pop Idol. Essentially, the programme followed the Bishop of Truro (Bishop Bill) as he searched for the right person to become the new chaplain for the Isles of Scilly. As poor as it sounds, I advise you read on, because some of my best reviews come from the most unlikely sources…

A chap called Father Guy Scott decided to leave his
parish of Mullion, on the mainland, and apply for the position, and thus became the winner of the show. Now, saying the show was like Pop Idol may have been a bit much. We didn’t exactly see a panel of people getting the mop out on a bunch of hopefuls, and to be quite honest, the show was far stranger than Pop Idol could ever hope to be. The Isles of Scilly are steeped in odd tradition. Last night, I saw the whole island celebrating… something or other… and Father Guy wasn’t allowed to join in because he has to be kept hidden away up a hill until he’s sworn in to the church.

This doesn’t sound like too much of a bother does it? Well, if you watched yesterday, you’d know two things. One, Father Guy loves real ale, and secondly, the Scilly Isles throw the most mental parties ever. The show cut from a shot of Father Guy watching TV to a rammed pub filled with the following guests; Bender from Futurama, Mario and Luigi, some pirates, mermaids, Wonder Woman… etc etc. Yes, it was a fancy dress, but it was the mother of all fancy dress parties. A whole island’s worth of people dressed up… and most had spent months preparing their outfits. So Bender from Futurama? It was actually him… I’m convinced. In fact, we should all nick that idea for future fancy dress shindigs as, by going as Bender, you get to be an obnoxious cigar puffing drunkard… what more can you ask for in life?

Apart from a German lady called Heike (the island’s new vet who brilliantly referred to potential beaus as ‘biting down on granite’), all the islanders seemed pretty nice, real ale drinking folks. That said, throughout the whole show, it did seem to have a shadowy cloak surrounding it. Of course, I probably imagined it, but at the moment I realised what it was, I literally shouted out "I want to live in the Wicker Man!" Of course, I don’t want to be burned like Edward Woodward, but I think I could hack living on the Scilly Isles. It seems that you bumble around getting wrecked on real ale and getting people to help you fix things. A simple it is on the Scilly Isles, and it’s a simple life for me. I’m quite sorry I missed this series now. [Mof Gimmers]