Charlie Brooker is an inspiration to us all. He really is. Well. He really isn’t at all. He is very very funny though, and that’s why I like him.  Brooker returns on Monday night with his bile ducts doing overtime on Screen Wipe (Monday, 10pm, BBC4). For those preposterous souls who have never seen this show (or read his articles) then prepare yourself for a bumpy ride through the best and worst of television.

Sadly (for me at least) there is no-one on the box like Brooker. He’s all fury and sarcasm in the face of the biblical river of slurry that pours out of our TV sets every minute of every stinking day. Bucking against the trend of polished eyeballs and glowing teeth, Brooker reveals his disgust in dimly lit rooms, hunched over a camcorder with all the menace of a filthy and dangerous old man. In fairness, that previous description is a bit wayward and I got carried away, but I think I’ll leave it in all the same.

To say that Charlie Brooker only spouts a
stream of visceral critiques that make your sides hurt isnt really fair. Brooker obviously knows how great TV can be, and his anger is largely due to the fact that the talking box has lost its way over the years and instead of being run by people with ideas, it is now run by idiots in suits lobbing programmes at imaginary focus groups (like, ‘this show is perfect for the mid teen drop out who has an overwhelming sense of independence and self importance, but still relies on nicking tenners from mummy’s purse, looking at porn on the internet and smoking old rags in an attempt to get wasted’ – Skins).

This Monday, we can see Brooker referring to
Vernon Kay as a village idiot and likening Alan Sugar
to a grumpy Mrs Tiggy- Winkle. I imagine he’ll be laying waste to Celebrity Big Brother too. If you have read his articles, but have never seen him on the box, give him a couple of minutes to grow on you as vocally, he aint half as erupting as his pen. Brilliant viewing. [Mof Gimmers]