It’s virtually impossible to understand how something as glamorous as Nigella Lawson could come from the loins of Nigel Lawson (former Tory MP), but come she did, and is now firmly established as the face of glamour-puss TV cookery shows. Mrs Saatchi’s new show, Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen, starts on Wednesday, and it’s a dead cert that it’ll feature almost pornographic shots of Nigella and food. Don’t misread that please. I mean that she’ll be purring over a bowl of sweet treats that almost playfully roll around in the dish shouting "Oooh! Nigella! You’re so very naughty!"

She is, in essence, every Daily Mail readers dream woman. I imagine a few readers of The Sun wouldn’t mind an evening on the town with her either. On with the programme and Nigella’s idea of a perfect Christmas. Well, being stupendously wealthy (as she is) is always helpful, but Nigella aims to give us proles some tips at livening up the traditional Christmas dinner with an array of treats and trimmings.

As this show (the first of a three parter) is aimed at the swankier end of the BBC‘s clientele, Christmas in the Domestic Goddess’s home is a sumptuous and glamorous affair. As Nigella glides onto our screens (probably carried by a hoard of cherubs), she offers us some canapés and a glass of mulled wine (probably made with a 1956 vintage Bordeaux or something). Of course, her house is decked out with with holly (organic) the children (free range) are impossibly well behaved and good looking. Whilst this will be a treat for the eyes of someone wishing for a perfect (too perfect if you ask me), it may only serve to remind you that this year, whilst Nigella is exchanging witty anecdotes with someone else who is impossibly handsome and well-bred, you’ll be getting drunk before the turkey has even gone in the oven, and gently sobbing at the tonne of wrapping paper that needs cleaning up, possibly covering up the little present the cat has left you after snaffling the mince pies left out for Santa.

At the close of the first show, Nigella whips up a drool inducing Christmas cake and a glazed ham. Be warned, she’ll make this look effortless and should you attempt any of these things with a hangover, you’ll probably end up glazing yourself and collapsing in the kitchen over some uncooked sprouts. Still, the programme is certainly worth viewing, just to get lost in the Yuletide spirit of things… and failing that, you can get wasted of the aromas coming from Nigella’s kitchen which are all too evident on viewing. [Mof Gimmers]