After watching last night’s Trinny and Susannah Undress(ITV1, 8pm) last evening, a fellow viewer said to me "I hope you write about these two fools". Which is exactly what I’m about to do. You see, after watching Date My Mom, I was already in a handsome rage… well, Trinny and Susannah did very little to subside my fury as they prodded and poked a couple (literally) and massaged their own egos to the heavens and back.

Trinny and Susannah were out to help Tracey. Tracey had married a twenty four year old bloke called Chris. Tracey is forty two. Now, for most, this isn’t really a problem. If people are happy they’re happy right? Well, Tracey felt a bit weird whilst out on the town with her beau, as he looked like he was about twelve, which made the age gap look about fifty years difference, as opposed to the paltry eighteen.

Normally, this kind of make over show just bursts into people’s lives and gives them new clothes… with a bit of cattiness for viewer’s sakes. Well, T&S (I can’t be bothered continually typing their names out) waltzed in with a mixture of their usual boob grabbing style, and an unhealthy does of Jeremy Kyle. You see, merely dressing these people wasn’t enough. They wanted to get into their minds and give them a patronising cuddle.

Tracey and Chris seemed for all the world like very nice people. They enjoyed each others company, and looked at each other fondly. It was lovely to see a story like theirs. Basically, a pair of nice people who love each other. However, it was hard to pipe up an ‘aaawww’ when you had to insane women flustering around them grabbing breasts and balls and saying "ya". One sequence saw the couple stood behind a huge white screen. Naked. With a spotlight shining behind them. What did this achieve? Nothing apart from intense embarrassment from both people stood starkers on telly.

Again, the true horror of the show was in it’s ‘reveal’. Chris came out looking a bit older… but a bit duller. They’d transformed a normal looking lad into Jonathon Edwards, god bothering triple jumper. They’d turned Tracey into a sugared pig. Seriously. She emerged from a hotel room in fuscia pink silk half mast trousers with a matching top. She was so bright that I was ready for throwing her a peanut. Later on, she did emerge in a lovely black outfit, but if I talk about that in depth, you may think I’m going soft.

It all ended with a eye watering ‘slow dance’ to a Shania Twain ballad (Twain on her own is enough to make me puke), with T&S sobbing from a balcony. They’d transformed the couple’s life forever! Aww! They also dressed them up funny! AAAW! They also made me want to cry over the state of TV. [Mof Gimmers]