Week five, and now the competition is really hotting up (Mark even salsa-ed to "Hot Hot Hot"- after a fashion) as all the celebrities seem to be realising it’s time to bring it on. Brendan, of course, was still rowing with the judges (Bruce, the old wag, even had a whistle to break up disagreements- and it proved surprisingly effective!) and we saw practice footage of Ray attacking a punching bag in frustration (clearly it helped, as his Viennese Waltz was magnificent; "the most virile" as Arlene said, and very elegant, too). In her VT, Emma said she’d realised at last that this was a competition, and she was going to have to really work at it. Obviously that paid off too, as her and Darren’s VW (that’s Viennese Waltz) was described by Len as "a wow of a dance," and rightly so- beautiful choreography, brilliantly danced. I understand that their fleckerls were particularly good but I’m blowed if I could recognise one! Peter Schmeichel did well too, with a classy VW and Carol Smilie danced a solid salsa with some impressive floor spins, but it lacked a little something, and she received a 29, as she said, "again."

Carry on over the cut for more fighting talk- and some more dancing stuff, too, including who left!

There were some dancers who were accused of failing to fight the good fight, most especially Matt, who several judges said looked self conscious and wasn’t trying hard enough. (His face made it clear what he was thinking: grrr). Somehow, this evolved into Arlene describing Lilia as "Miss Sexy Coconuts" but let’s not study the origins of that phrase too closely, shall we? Anyway, his salsa only netted them 25 points, which did seem a little low… The judges (especially Ms Phillips) were also hard on Vincent, Louisa’s professional partner, saying he wasn’t bringing out his A-game, whereas she was trying hard. Their score of 29 seemed low, too.

And then there was Jan, who actually did better with an okay V. Waltz, which Craig said was her personal best… then gave her the same score as last week. He kept trying to explain his logic but really, there didn’t seem to be any. Not that it mattered, as Jan’s time was up. She was incredibly tearful (Arlene, in a shocking new development, looked on disapprovingly) but I don’t think anyone else will be. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman and I find Anton very entertaining but really… enough. And finally, there was Brendan, who stormed off yet again (can’t he learn some new conflict resolution techniques? That’s getting boring!) after being given the lowest mark of the evening (he and Claire were in the bottom two with the public vote, too). Their salsa was actually pretty good, very sensual but apprently "BBC bosses" had demanded they tone it down… the spoilsports!

I mentioned Mark earlier and I can’t leave without mentioning him again!He danced last but not least and his salsa was fabulous, definitely the best dance of the evening, although it took two tries to get there after he initially got his mic caught in Karen’s dress and they asked to start again. You might think the band would have caught on that maybe they should stop, but even when Bruce came out on the floor to ascertain what was happening, the drummers were still beating even though the singers had long given up. The seamstress who always used to be on It Takes Two came on to fix things and I think Bruce just thought she was some random woman ("who are you?")… so of course, he danced with her.

Next week: the samba (carnival time!) or the oh-so-pretty american smooth… should be good!  [Diane Shipley]

Strictly Come Dancing Week 1; Strictly Come Dancing Week 2 ; Strictly Come Dancing Week 3; Strictly Come Dancing Week 4.

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