* Not really. But he totally should.

O.J. Simpson: he of knit cap, "ugly-ass shoes" and vicious wife-killing (Whoops! Not that last one, of course! O.J is an innocent man, found ‘not guilty’ by a jury of his peers. Just like Michael Jackson.) fame is to make a documentary. O.J. still claims that he didn’t kill his wife. In O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened, however, he will attempt to walk us through how he would have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman if he had done it. Which he didn’t. (Just need to make that clear, in case he sues us.) So, what, instead of "finding the real killer," O.J., you’re going to try and show him how he should have done it instead?

Funnily enough, the two-part documentary, due to air on Fox later this month, coincides with the release of O.J’s new book If I Did It, which also takes a (strictly hypothetical, you understand) look at how he would have gone about committing the murders. Looks like someone ran out of money again, doesn’t it?

Aside from the sheer bad taste of the whole thing, the big concern here is that this will open up the floodgates for more such "strictly hypothetical" money-spinners. What’s next? Bill Clinton: If I Did Have Sexual Relations With That Woman, Here’s How It Happened? Michael Jackson: If I Was a Paedophile, Here’s How I’d Do It? I mean, good God, where will it end?

Simpson will be interviewed by his own publisher, Judith Regan, in what will surely be a hard-hitting and insightful interview, and not at all a thinly-veiled attempt to promote the book of the same name. And presumably, having gotten all this pesky publicity out of the way, O.J. will then return to his life’s work – finding the real killers…  [Amber McNaught]