I know it's a bit short notice, but you have to watch Celebrity Wife Swap tonight. Fair enough, you may well have to watch it through your fingers, but still, you must see it. Why? Well, it has two of the most repugnant creatures ever to grace a screen going head-to-head.

Basically, you'll have the dour faced claptrapped Edwina 'Bad Eggs' Currie and the one man multiple car crash that is John McCririck.

The teasers shown on our box in the lead up to the programme are a reviewers dream. Get the misogynistic, beached albino whale, nose-picking-and-eating, klaxon horn voiced, pure undiluted arrogance of John McCririck with twittering, no-nonsense Edwina Currie, throw them in a room together and run for cover. I've never liked Edwina... mainly because she's a Tory, and I hate Tory types. However, I have a feeling that I'm going to firmly stick up for her through tonight's show, and cheer when she launched a full glass of wine in the horror bag that is McCririck's big pink face.

Anyone who saw McCririck's revolting personal habits on last year's Celebrity Big Brother will know that, when faced with the real life Jabba The Hut, it could never be a pretty programme. He'll be sat in bed, mounds of food resting on his disgusting obese frame, lolloping around in his skiddy undercrackers, barking orders at Currie and basically giving everyone the perfect reason to throw up in their laps.

In fact, whoever married the ginger jowled buffoon must be sadistic. She'll no doubt be surprised at the little she has to do at Edwina's gaff. For one, she won't have to give anyone a bed bath, and tend to some bed sores (I imagine). TV like this is quite obviously lowest common denominator, but this is well worth watching as, just for once, the entire nation will be unified in loathing of a terrible and dreadful ogre called McCririck. A must.[Mof Gimmers]