I can’t believe it. I’ve gone completely soft. Kim and Aggie from How Clean is Your House? have completely convinced me that not everyone on TV is a chump. Most of these ‘self help’ programmes are filled with infuriating half truths served up to gullible, desperate people willing to believe virtually anything offered by the mouth of a so called expert. Thankfully, Kim and Aggie don’t mess around claiming anything of the sort.

The first thing they do is poke around a filthy house. "Poooooo!" and "Oh my dear lord Aggie look! Undies!" filled the newly camped up air of a festering hole, which last night, belonged to two lank hairspray metalheads called Donna and David Burton. Basically, both of this couple didn’t ever tidy up. Ever. They just moved mess around in different piles. Naturally, it was getting a bit silly after doing this strange ritual for 10 years.

This is when we see Kim and Aggie coming into their own. Instead of being all fire and brimstone (like a certain hunchbacked Scots woman), they playfully scold, and show ‘em how it’s done. Example. Kim, 6ft tall in heel, terrifyingly orange and 99 hair (sans flake) went into the garden and found a scummy old barbecue. Instead of embarrassing the family in a show of public humiliation, she got David, the dad of the family to clean it up as best he could then delivered the secret weapon. Scrunched tinfoil. Gave the grill a good old wipe, and presto, cleanliness is served. A lesser programme would have proffered some half baked nonesense about something or other, and then punished punished punished them to kingdom come. This pair just look happy when they see happy people. Can’t grumble at that can you?

As an aside, my love for these two may have been highlighted when I used one of their tips. I smashed an egg. Raw egg is awkward at the best of times. Recalling some of Kim and Aggie’s advice, I poured  a generous amount of salt on the carnage, and bingo bango, it became a doddle to clean up. So there you have it. I’m going soft and Kim and Aggie are ace.[Mof Gimmers]