I watched Dragon's Den last night on the back of a disappointing Mythbusters, and hoped for a bit of cruelty to sort me out. Naturally, I wasn't to be let down by these terrible and nasty business types. Before I get underway, I'd like to point out once more that Richard Farleigh (pictured) is in fact Nicholas Hammond who played Spider Man in the seventies. Anyway, back to the snipes.

Dragon's Den is the same format as before. Last night's show proved to be no exception. The first round of people have their dreams laughed at by some despicable people in suits, and then, for the last one, the mood of the incidental music changes to let you know someone is doing well. They get money, and the show ends on a happy note. Simple.

Sitting down to watch Dragon's Den is the equivalent to the Medieval times when the public would gather 'round for a public hanging. Except this time, the poor people scalded on TV haven't really done anything wrong. No matter, we like to idly sit on our rumps and watch them get shot to bits. One poor sod went up against the 6 gargoyles with a handful of rubber mats. Mats for your feet. With nubbins on them. The Dragons actually laughed at him, and somehow, the programme stopped looking like a show about entrepeneurs, and more like 6 kids picking on the one with skids in his undies. Quite horrible really. After a full house of 'I'm out's' and general morale kickings, something odd happened.

Two ladies clambered up the Den's stairs and began to put their legs over their heads. This wasn't some kind of erotic deal clincher, but yoga. The two ladies involved had a cracking idea. They were to 'sell' yoga to school children. It already worked, and they wanted to give it a further push. Well, the Dragon's were as nice as pie with the two cash cows that walked in, and tried to screw the best deal they could out of them. So what happened? The two women said 'No thanks' and walked away. Brilliant! The squirming Peter Jones pipping in with a desperate "I think you're making a mistake..." which fell on deaf yogic earholes. Marvellous.

Another gent... a portly American gent... created one of the most bizarre moments in DD history. He came in with a real stinker of an idea. A plastic gnome hat for cucumbers. The product was met with real and genuine hoots from all of the Dragon's, especially from the lisping 'r' roller Theo Paphitis who helpfully said "It looks like a com-dom" The product was indeed terrible, but Peter Jones, for reasons only known to himself, took a shine to this fellow, and said words to the effect of 'you're ideas stink, but I like you, would you like a job?' Insane. Esentially offering a job to the man ridiculed by the man with a speech defect. Still, Jones' is a much richer man than I, and who am I to mock him?

Naturally, someone did 'win' some money from these vultures (some bloke who reminded me of a young Alan Partridge) but it wasn't great viewing. Once again, the music used in the programme gave the answer away before the deal was officially clinched. I'm not begrudging a 'win', it's not really the reason I watch it is it? I want someones blood![Mof Gimmers]