Just before we go any further, I’d like to point out that not everyone in Scotland is a cross-dresser. I know the recent series of Big Brother would lead you to believe we are, but Shabaz and new housemate Sam are by no means typical, you know. Just thought I’d clear that up…

So, anyway, in last night’s show, Pete and Glyn ("He’s a powerful character, you know," said Sezar of the weedy Welshie. The force is strong in this one…) took part in a quiz show and won a leggy blonde and a transvestite for their troubles. As you do.

Aisleyne is a blonde "model" and Chantelle-alike, while Sam is, well, Sam is a man. Both popped out of gift-wrapped boxes last night after Pete successfully answered some simple questions. Sadly, the motor boat which would have been prize number three, was removed from the garden when he got that question wrong.

After just a few minutes in the house, the new housemates had already driven the bitching to new heights, with Grace sneering at Aisleyne’s appearance ("You can just imagine what she looks like without her makeup," said the delightful Sloane) and Sezar promising to "bully conflict out of her." What a lovely bunch, eh?

Sam’s revelation that she is, in fact, a he, received a better reception, but when you bear in mind that these are the people who described Pete’s Tourettes Syndrome as "Totally wicked!", that’s maybe not saying much…

Let the fur fly, people. [Amber McNaught]

Big Brother, Channel 4, weeknights at 9pm