by Mof Gimmers

Quizmania. Whatever I said, I’m sorry. I take it all back.

I’m feeling repentant, not just because Jesus died for my sins, but because I think I may have seen the worst TV show ever broadcasted. Now I’m in the odd situation of pining for Debbie King and Chuck Thomas.

That show is called The Mint. You should avoid it like the plague.

The Mint is the show that has shunted the Quizmania crew off
to ITV2 land… a TV retirement home for unfavourable quiz shows and repeats.

In this case, the twits at ITV have got it all very wrong.

The Mint is hosted by the ear bleeding and sandwich curling Brian Dowling.
Essentially, a vinegary tart who seems to possess a contempt for his peers like
no other. Sometimes it is difficult to spot, by virtue of the fact that you are
clinging on to your couch for dear life while Dowling’s honking moped trapped
inside a bagpipe voice tries to blow you all to kingdom come. Turn the sound
down however, and the millions of snide micro looks of disgust leap from the
screen.

Unluckily, the Debbie King equivalent, Kat Shoob (no really, she’s
called Shoob) seems like a nice person, and probably in better surroundings
(not a pretend mansion) she’d be a half decent children’s TV presenter. That
said, there is an air of the call centre about her, which leads me to think
that shows like this are indeed, the equivalent of some robbing bastard trying
to make you buy something you don’t want down the phone, or selling you a weird
mobile package.

If Quizmania was laughably bad, to the extent that you began to extol the
virtues of the horrible genius unfurling before you, The Mint merely makes you
angry and filled with nausea all at the same time.

You see, Quizmania somehow managed to build some kind of tension, and The Mint
freely gives away £500 to anyone who can work a telephone. For great TV it does
not make.

What was worse about the show was the starring of the blatantly ill Peter Simon. It
somehow didn’t feel right watching someone having a nervous breakdown and
‘coming out’ live on air.

At one point, the former Double Dare presenter actually began to foam at the
mouth, leap up and down like a demented ape, and paw at Dowling. It also gave a
weird impression of a reclusive, eccentric gay uncle in denial, on holiday with
his ‘nephew’. I was actively wishing for Peter Simon to start asking callers if
they were ‘a stone or sponge…’.

Basically, I miss Quizmania now. I thought it would be funny poking fun at them
in the past. Now? I’m suffering. The Mint is my bad karma biting me in the
bumhole. Good lord am I sorry.

The Mint – About as much fun as attending a loved one’s funeral. One to miss.

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