by Mof Gimmers

Alan Sugar. What is he? Rich? Yes. Other than that?

I can’t decide if he’s a big cuddly bear made from velcro, trying to convince me to get some Premium Bonds, or if he’s a horrible swearing git dishing out P45s like they’re going out of style.

For the programme he’s in at the moment, The Apprentice, he’s sticking to the latter.

Last night saw him give the boot to Syed. Syed is from the East End of London. I know this because he said it about 400 times per minute. He’s a straight talking go-getter. From the East End. He was born in Bangladesh… in the East End of Lond… hang on?

This show has been a ratings hit, and people seem to adore the comings and goings of… well… salesmen.

I’ll be honest. I don’t understand this one bit. Why?

Salesmen are the worst people on the planet. They are the very people who think that, you, the Great British public, are morons.  A salesperson believes they can sell anything to anyone. Which means that a sales droid thinks that they are much much smarter than you.

Well, watching the show last night confirmed my hatred for sales people.

They had flashy mobiles and talked into them like they were the most important people in the whole cosmos. They said things like "I’VE SLAM-DUNKED A DEAL!" without a single trace of irony.

Alan Sugar should be some kind of anti hero, largely because he treats sales people with complete contempt. However, you know that he’s a glorified sales rep. He loves these people. Heartless, ruthless, unscrupulous, villainous, cocaine-brained, throat cutters who would happily skin Alan Sugar and sell his flesh to make lamp shades for weirdos.

Still, the nation loves it.