by Mof Gimmers

Last week, the lovely Amber reviewed the show Paparazzi. I was so intrigued that I had to take a look myself.

Surely this would be the apex in tittle tattle TV?

The main focus of the show is a preposterous human car crash
called Darryn Lyons. For starters,
his head looks like the leftovers of an inferno in the play-dough factory. He’s
loud, brash and unashamedly money hungry.

He also has that lovely quality of wanting to give an air of regality. Which,
in Darryn‘s
world, means buying a Ferrari and playing Polo very badly.

He sends his minions all over the globe in attempt to capture celebrities
doing… well… just about anything. In a world exclusive ™ they caught
Angelina Jolie… buying fish.

It’s easy to scoff at the ridiculous notion of it all… but people seemingly
love to look at Angelina Jolie buying a kipper. Or something. I don’t know who
is dafter. Darryn (wealthy) or the people interested in the snaps (village
idiots).

Aside from Lyons’ dismality, the show was stolen by one of the paparazzists. An
Iranian snapper hired by Lyons’ (his name escapes me at present) blumbled his
way around, being the worst photographer ever. Firstly, he didn’t know how to
work a camera (this is essential when trying to take a photo) and secondly he
didn’t know who any celebrities were (also essential when trying to take
pictures of famous people). Coupled with his lovely mutterings of
"jeezoose chriyest", and his complete disregard for any instructions
given to him, he made the show a real joy to watch.

Back to Mr Paparazzi (Lyons) and his cash hunger. It would seem that he has his
eye on the popular music charts. He has set up a girl group called Twisted
Sisterz (who have now changed their name to Mrs Robinson for some
inexplicable reason) and their sole aim seemed to be as follows.

1. Get hammered on champers at any opportunity
2. Take their clothes off at any opportunity
3. Pick on one of their band mates and humiliate them on camera at any
opportunity (the victim of bullying was subsequently fired)

All in all, this show capped a night’s viewing which showed me my 3 worst types
of people. Pretentious posh blokes (Grand Designs),
ruthless salesmen (The Apprentice)
and immoral money grabbing glorifiers of celebrity (Paparazzi).

Suffice to say, I was fuming at the close of play. Happy days eh?